Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

by Steve Kochems

I'm just going to get right into it. After 7 previous films, one whose sole purpose is to lead into this film, it would be quite asinine of me to nitpick and criticize Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2. This isn't Jaws 8 or Friday the 13th VIII, this is a legitimate series that has maintained a standard of quality in each film of the series, something that's fairly unheard of in cinema and only rivaled by the James Bond series. That isn't to say HPDH2 is for everyone. God help you if this is the first Potter film you try to watch.

But in that minute weakness lays its strength. This is a movie for the millions who've followed the books and the millions more who were forced to watch the first six films in a three day period and then rushed to see Deathly Hallows: Part 1, only to be left horribly blue-balled by what turned out to be only half a movie (side note: the forced part turned into a blessing in disguise and the second isn't a harsh criticism as my Potter liaison team informed me that was the logical point to break the movies, which I found true after watching this film).

The action packed opening to Deathly Hallows Part 1 was only a taste of what you'll get in Part 2. For a series that was slow and tense pacing of mystery story after mystery story, Mr. Potter gets supercharged as Hogwarts and the Dark Lord go to an all out war that involves many favorites from the past films. And most importantly, it ends with class and dignity.

I could argue that Hermoine and Ron seem less important here while Neville soaks up many of the larger moments (side note 2: Potter liaison explained the reasoning from the novel so I've been corrected already). But beyond that I've little bad or good to say about this movie. Not because there aren't good things in this movie (there are many), but let's be honest with each other here. You've seen seven movies in a series, even if you're pissed off at it for some reason you are not giving up on watching the finale. And if you haven't seen any of them you won't know what I'm talking about anyhow.

Still, I felt obligated to put my thoughts up on here about the final Harry Potter. Partially because it's what we have this site for and partly because Mike and I have been a little lagging on the review this summer, which sucks because it's actually shaped up to be a very nice summer of movies. We're sorry, I moved, he's got no internet, the debt issue hasn't been resolved- we're all suffering, guys.

Anyway, I don't know what else to say about HPDH2. I did have a moment of high emotion two days after seeing the final Potter; I came home and saw the Sorcerer's Stone was on cable. I could only handle a few minutes of it because Daniel Radcliffe looked so young, but it showed the process of the Potter movies. It's a ten year journey that we've gone on and now it's over. And I'm not sad because of nostalgia, but because that was ten years ago it started (feeling old). If you take nothing else away from this movie, commend it for leaving with class and pride, something it upheld through all eight films and a decade of love.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Most Human Heroes List

by Steve Kochems

While impatiently awaiting our furniture and living essentials from Buffalo, my girlfriend and I decided to sit down and watch the Indiana Jones trilogy. Now, those who know me think this is going to turn into another rant about one of the three, but it isn’t going to. I promise. Rather, it dawned on me after the less than impressive Green Lantern that superhero movies might be wearing down because they often retread familiar territory, namely the fact that they in some way or another acquire super human powers (Batman and the Punisher being the lone exceptions, though I would argue Batman’s super power at times is money, making him the best superhero to invest in).

So while watching the Indy films, I realized that some of the best heroes we have in classic films are in fact very ordinary people and are much more human than super. More often than not, these iconic action heroes are the result of an incredibly well-written script. Whether they’ve misplaced their shoes or see that X marks the spot, these moments usually stem from a script that is forced to be creative and clever, ironically as a result of the fact that the hero is a mere human.

Now before I go ahead and make a list that I’ll be horribly criticized for, whether by a bad addition or omission, I’m going to just say right now I’m not including James Bond into this simply for the reason that after a couple of films, the story forced him to be superhuman. That’s not to say any of these character below haven’t been, but not over a span of 22 films. Sure, a few have had unnecessary sequels, but Bond kept being regurgitated for us until Martin Campbell’s Casino Royale. I’d love to add Daniel Craig’s Bond because he’s based more in reality, he strangles people, he can be poisoned and shot. But I don’t want to omit movies from a character either (okay, I’d like to but I won’t). So Bond has to be left off here, sorry.

So here’s my list for the most heroic humans in cinema.

Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity)

Our favorite assassin turned amnesia patient, Bourne will kill you with a pen. That’s one of the first big action sequences we see of Mr. Bourne and we absolutely love it. Or how ‘bout a magazine? You can’t sit in a waiting room with this guy and feel safe. Seriously, if he can kill you with a pen he can kill you with anything. But my favorite moment in the Bourne Identity is a small scene when he sits down in a coffee shop and realizes he knows every visible attribute about the diner and those in it, more importantly though he doesn’t know why. He’s a man simply searching for himself, and killing anyone who disrupts that.

Bryan Mills (Taken)

I wouldn’t be surprised if some people gripe about this choice ahead of Bourne, but Mills only takes one film to get his revenge, so he gets points for that (sure, Bourne is working on a larger scale, but that’d ruin my reasoning). But also he’s the centerpiece for a film that walks a dark line but never crosses it. And of course Mills is a total bad ass, whether it’s electrocuting people or shooting anyone who stands between him and his daughter, friends included. That’s what makes him one of the most interesting people on this list… that and if I’d kept him off he’d torture me until I put him on here.

Ellen Ripley (Alien)

Sigourney Weaver’s Ripley was not only a mark of change in gender roles for modern cinema, but a mark in narratives in general. She’s strong and plays the mother of her ship, battling crazed aliens and their queen for control. It’s a clash of different worlds and Ripley is the centerpiece, looking to protect and defend her kin at all costs. (I know eventually she turns into an Alien or something… but this is basically for the first two films). I’d have her higher on the list, but since the film takes place in space she’s got more technology at her disposal than, say…

John McClain (Die Hard)

One of the most likable and American characters in modern cinema, McClane is basically a schlub that just gets caught up in a bad spot. But in the hairiest of situations, McClane is clever, bold, and everything you could ever want in an action hero. He’s the staple for dozens of movies that tried to be everything Die Hard was but always fell short. In fact, there’s only one man I’d say is more American and bold then Mr. John McClane…

Indiana Jones (Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark)

I tried really hard to talk myself into someone else, to find another character that embodied heroism more than Indy. Mainly it was because I knew I led this article with him and knew it would make the ending anti-climactic. But lo, it can’t be anyone else. The man that found the Lost Ark and the Cup of Christ to kept it from the Nazi’s. The bold, borderline reckless man who when he’s tired of fighting street thugs pulls out his gun and shoots them. Never mind the fourth installment that lacked logic and hoped to disguise itself behind the likability of old Indy; this isn’t the forum to complain about that. We can only hope that if or, as some have said, when a fifth movie comes around, the trend of quality continues and Mr. Lucas allows him to finally ride off into the sunset (for good this time).

Anyone you don’t think should be on here? Or notable omissions? Post them below!

A Sidebar: Green Lantern

by Steve Kochems

Something’s bothered me the past few days and I wasn’t entirely sure what until now. It’s not the new west coast time, or the lack of clouds in Fresno, CA (they have none apparently). No, it was a scene in the Green Lantern, which I reviewed a few days ago. And now, at 4:40 in the morning, I’m gonna talk this out with myself.

(WARNING: This rant CONTAINS SPOILERS and is NOT my official review of the film)

Most of us could probably agree that superhero movies, and hell, most action, sci-fi, or fantasy movies in general, are about someone going through extraordinary changes or events and emerging as the better man, sometimes physically and/or mentally, but almost always ethically. However this scene, and in turn the movie as a whole, I’m gonna discuss goes against that rule. Why? Because it makes the Green Lantern Corps philosophy and Hal Jordan himself an elitist asshole.

Stay with me.

So the scene is that Hector Hammond, previously a social reject and disappointment to Andy Dufresne, has become infected with some alien contamination and has telepathic powers from a fear entity. However, it has caused him to look even more deformed as his head is gigantic and he sweats all the time, in addition to the already creepy Malkovich look he had going on.

Hector wants to make it as a scientist and gets his big break with this whole alien business and his dad hooking him up. Meanwhile, Hal Jordan gets chosen by a magical ring to be given special powers because the ring “saw something in him.” It’s attracted to fearlessness, you know... like a high school girl.

Now, I’m not against these lead-in’s above, however these two things collide in the scene that’s been keeping me from sleeping and create some moral questions as to what the film is suggesting. After Hector’s killed his dad for being a dick, he kidnaps Hal’s love interest Carol, a woman who Hal could have admittedly had but chose not to because he would’ve “screwed it up,” somewhere in a corner Hector cried because he was an ugly dude who never got the chance. Hal shows up to save the day and tells Big Head he’ll give him the Green Lantern ring if he lets her go, so that he can “be anyone, do anything.”

The whole crux of Hector kidnapping her is because he’s loved her since childhood but she’s never given him the time of day or chance because he looks like this guy to my left here.

Instead she’s been flying around with Hal, dropping him the occasional free-bang while he continues not to commit or give a shit. He wants to be like Hal, look like Hal, you know, so he can have a chance.

So Hector accepts the ring and puts it on. He then says he lied and wouldn’t let her go regardless. To me, this makes no sense for Hector’s character and is just thrown in there because he’s the bad guy and he’s gotta say that. Why would he want her to look mutated now if he can make himself look attractive enough for her? (Sidebar on the Sidebar: he’s a telepath at this point, how the hell did he not see this very obvious trick coming?)

However, our hero has lied as well, saying that the ring has to choose you and not just anyone can use it. “Haha! Jokes on you asshole!” Somewhere I hoped to find a picture of the Green Lantern punching a poor immigrant family with a similar caption.

The ring swoops back to Hal and he blasts poor Hector in the face and catches Carol from falling and keeps her from being injected with urine or whatever that was. I guess it’s a good thing he’s handsome, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to do all that. And then poor Hector is incinerated and Hal flies off into space to punch a giant cloud into the sun (Another Sidebar on the Sidebar: if the Green Lantern can create anything they can think of, why not just create a sun?).

So let’s recap what this scene really honors and encourages: looks over brains. Changing to be liked over being who you are. Lying if you hope the villain is lying. Being chosen (fate) over choosing your own fate. And let’s recap the qualities of our hero vs. demi-villain: fearless, liar, childish, unable to commit, and being “chosen” for better things (the foundation for Social Darwinism, by the way) vs. smart, responsible, ugly, also a liar (though without reason) and apparently pre-doomed.

They both had daddy issues, but while Hal’s dad died a hero and should’ve left him with great memories, Hal has awful flashbacks about him for the first 1/3 of the film then everybody just forgets about it (final Sidebar on the Sidebar: why doesn’t Sinestro or Hector, or Paralax for that matter, use this memory against him? The whole first third of the film is suggesting that that will be the big thing for him to have to overcome in the finale but they just drop it. Why!?). But poor Hector’s dad is the Senator who loves Hal and Carol, he seems to like everyone else as his kid except Hector- probably didn’t love him because he was a balding weirdo. Was anyone sad when Senator Dufrane died? Didn’t think so.

I guess this all makes sense though- they had to make Peter Parker look attractive before he could become a hero, take off his nerd glasses and puff out his chest real big. Yeah, that way no one will confuse him with a villain, all heroes are pretty people with great smiles.

Hector never did anything bad before he found out all the things people were saying behind his back. You know, Wolverine kills a ton of people just for breaking into a house but nobody gives him shit for it. His general description as a person sounds like a much more traditional protagonist for a movie than fly-boy GQ cover Hal, who probably had his socks dry cleaned afterwards to be sure none of Hector’s poor-man ashes got on them.

I know the whole theme was supposed to be about humans being courageous and standing up in the face of fear rather than pretending they are above it (which I like a lot), but Hal Jordan in this comparison to Hector, and especially in this scene, doesn’t sound like a hero. Bruce Wayne isn’t a hero because he’s rich or powerful but because he wants to inspire people, to do things for the greater good, to sacrifice himself. And he chooses to do these things. That’s the whole basis of the end of Batman Begins.

Hal is chosen and rejects the responsibility because that’s a long way to fly for union meetings. Then he accepts the power to save a few people, crashes a galactic conference to discuss a personal problem, then let’s poor Hector get murdered and finally punches the Paralax in space after overcoming his fear of dust. Great arc Hal, you’re a modern day hero. Then he flies back, kisses the girl and flies away, once again unable to commit and has better shit to do. It’s a good thing he looks that good so he can get some alien ass on the side.

The Green Lantern, an elitist asshole.

Green Lantern

by Steve Kochems

A few weeks ago I posted a preview on the upcoming comic book movies this summer. I previewed the first blockbuster of the year (Thor), the end to a trilogy that someone swore would be better than the previous two films (Transformers 3), the most anticipated and crucial superhero to Marvel Comics (Captain America: The First Avenger), and the resurrection of a Brett Ratner executed set of heroes (X-Men: First Class). But in the midst of these, someone pointed out that I had forgotten all about the Green Lantern. Oops...

I figured that if the movie wasn’t looking good enough for me to even remember it when previewing its very own sub-genre mere weeks before its release, then I wasn’t going to say very many nice things about it anyway. But lo, I do in fact have some nice things to say about Green Lantern.

We follow Hal Jordan, played once again by a well-cast Ryan Reynolds (sidebar: I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie starring Ryan Reynolds that I can say I dislike. Even Van Wilder and The Proposal I thought had some decent moments… Oh God, I’ve admitted too much. Evac!), who is chosen by the Green Lantern Ring to become its next bearer. And it turned out to be great timing too as the Paralax, which is a galactic entity of fear (or something along those lines) is killing off Green Lanterns and consuming entire civilizations.

I’d talk more about the supporting cast but if I can be honest (which I can, it’s my blog), they really aren’t worth it. Mark Strong isn't given nearly enough screen time so we never get to know Sinestro well enough to even care (especially after the credits). Same for Peter Sarsgaard, doing his best Malkovich impression (I'll get to him more later) and his dad, Senator Someone (played by a completely under utilized but delightful Tim Robbins). And Blake Lively as his fellow pilot Carol isn’t all too great either and her love story with Hal just seems to be in the way of showing us more cool green shit.

That being said, I can tell you right now there is a ton of cool green shit in this movie. Since the Green Lantern suits are mostly CGI, I must give credit to the effects team on this one. Little things like the electrons zapping around the suit give it so much more credibility and is vastly more interesting than anything they could’ve done in reality, which is ultimately what makes Green Lantern worth watching.

Making a good superhero movie is hard. Making a good superhero movie with cosmic battles and legit aliens is even harder, trust me. But Lantern does it pretty well. It’s just a shame the rest of the cast (and characters for that matter) are rushed and ultimately pretty dispensable to the story. The closest we get to knowing or caring about any of them is Carol, and we’re still pretty distant from her even by the end of the film.

I wouldn’t say Green Lantern is a good movie but I really wouldn’t say it’s a bad one either. I question some of its editing, as it tries to inter-cut Hal’s journey with Hector (scientist who becomes a villain, the description is as generic as the character really) but starts that too late in the film for us to really follow both their journeys and how they ultimately become different people. And if that wasn’t their intent, we never really worry or feel threatened by Hector because we know the real villain is Paralax.

However, despite the gripes, I can say the effects are worth the price of admission, as is Reynolds. I’d watch it if it were on TV, but I wouldn’t fly across the universe for it.

Rating: 3 out of 5

Kung Fu Panda 2

By Steve Kochems

Whether you’re dealing with horror or animation, sequels are inevitably tough to do. For as much as I love the Toy Story franchise, it’s fairly obvious that the second film is the weakest of the three, which is partially because the original was so refreshing and genuine that it was a tough act to follow. I can say the same to some extent for The Two Towers (though my love for Lord of the Rings does not wain).

However, I can say that any doubts or worries I might’ve had for a solid animated film’s spawned sequel were drenched in laughter and kind-heartedness. Kung Fu Panda 2 is really a good sequel period, let alone in the animation genre. Its solid cast amplifies another story that is very simple and never gets too lost or misguided. It’s the same thing that made the first film good in the first place.

We pick up with Po (Jack Black), now the full-fledged Dragon Warrior and the Furious Five (Angelina Jolie, Seth Rogen, Jackie Chan, Lucy Liu, and David Cross) using kung-fu to keep China at peace. At the same time, Master Shifu (Dustin Hoffman) presses Po’s next level of training, a pursuit of inner peace. However, a shadow of Po’s past (Gary Oldman) has vowed to conquer China and destroy kung-fu forever, with a weapon that cannot be reckoned with.

Po grows in this film like the last and his forming arc resembles Luke Skywalker’s. I know, stay with me though.

At first we meet an average Joe (or Panda), who’s name or fate precede them. They learn and train and achieve a goal where all others failed because of their belief in their inner strength (the Force, being the Dragon Warrior). And just like in The Empire Strikes Back, our hero here must learn control and self-discipline to save those he loves.

That comparison isn’t as far off as you might think. A lot of people won’t give either Panda movies a chance because they seem childish and juvenile, a stigma that animation has always had but Pixar has worked to change in the last decade. But if you can drop your adult face for two hours, you might find yourself seriously enjoying Kung Fu Panda 2, and the same can be said for its predecessor.

It’s funny, it’s well paced, and it has heart. I can’t ask for much more in any movie than that.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5