Battle: Los Angeles

by Steve Kochems

For all they cynics out there who thought I'd just come out here and blast this movie for being superfluous action schlock, well, I think you underestimated the popcorner in me here. With a cast of no-names and Aaron Eckhart (The Dark Knight, Thank You for Smoking) driving off aliens invading Los Angeles as a plot and Jonathan Liebesman (Darkness Falls, Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning) at the helm, I was as surprised as you.

The film begins with Staff Sergeant Nantz getting ready to turn in his papers and retire from the Marines. The obvious action move here would be to open up with Nantz on his final mission (which proves to be critical to those under his command later) and how it goes wrong, but Liebesman takes his first big chance here and uses this time to introduce over a dozen Marines living their lives on the home front, some returning and some preparing for an upcoming deployment. No explosions or bullets (yet), which might bore many average movie goers but it's those first ten minutes that give this film what many action films (see; GI Joe) lack: heart.

Life goes on as usual while almost nobody except NASA seems to care that meteor's are heading for Earth. Before I get too far into that, I should mention what I thought to be the strongest quality in the movie. Because of the shaky camera work and drowned out dialogue from explosions and gunfire, this movie really came off as pretty realistic. It felt like a cross between Independence Day and Saving Private Ryan, two films that are about as high as one could be compared to when it comes to an action movie.

Now, some reviews I've read have complained about these aspects, the drown out, incoherent dialogue within war zones. I've also seen a few people complaining that for the most part, the alien's intent is barely explained. I can't deny these facts, but ultimately I think it just plays into the realism of the film. Aliens invade and start blowing us up, I don't think they're going to send us a letter of intent. The film does a good job of inter-cutting a few news clips where analysts and scientists speculate as to why this is happening. It also helps that each battle scene is shown as a tactical one, a battle of positioning and wits, not just firepower. Real wars are not always about who has the bigger gun but who can out think their enemy.

Another plus to this film is that the aliens are never really portrayed as indestructible or untouchable. Their ships explode when flying to close to a gas station or hit with a grenade launcher, and their foot soldiers are just as armored and formidable as a Kevlar coated Marine. This really makes the losses of battles, positions, and more importantly soldiers and civilians much more difficult to bare. Even the ones only mentioned in passing, whole squadrons being obliterated in the crossfire, really makes this difficult to watch (in a good way).

This brings me back to my original point, heart. Because the film emphasizes such realism, it hits so much closer to home when characters die. To me, that scores big points. To others, it might just make it boring until more things go boom.

I won't say this film isn't without its flaws though, the biggest being a technical choice. While the gritty camera work and lighting adds to the film, it's score takes away. Some music simply seems out of place or too quiet, like Liebesman wasn't sure if he should leave it in or not so he just turned it down. I would've much preferred no score at all, make it a straight war-picture and fill it with ambient sounds, people screaming, dying, explosions, the whole lot, but this would've probably upped the MPA Rating to R and possibly drove away casual fans.

All in all, I was quite surprised with how good this film was and would recommend anyone that likes action movies to give this a chance. Forget the absurd premise for a second and treat it like you treated Cloverfield. You might find it to be better than you'd think.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5

Ravenous

The house next door to my house burned down today. It happened pretty early, around 7 in the morning; firetrucks blocked my driveway until about 10:30. As a result of the barricade, I couldn't go to work until around 11... which was just enough time to watch one of the coolest movies I've seen in recent memory.

The dark-comedy, cannibalistic horror-thriller I'm referring to is Ravenous, a 1999 Antonia Bird flick starring Guy Pearce (The Kings Speech, The Count of Monte Cristo). Opposite Pearce is an awesome cast, led by the always great Robert Carlyle (28 Weeks Later, The Full Monty). Fun Fact: Carlyle played the role of Hitler in a 2003 tv movie; his role in Ravenous was just as demented.

Get ready for spoilers, even though I highly suggest going out and watching this bitch as soon as possible- it fucking rules.

The flick starts off with a bit of murky back-story. It's the 1840s and Captain John Boyd (Pearce) is being recognized for courage in the line of duty (similar to the Call of Duty: Black Ops). He went behind enemy lines and killed a shit load of Mexicans during his stint with the Army in the Mexican-American war. In actuality, he choked up and wasn't very courageous at all; he simply played dead while his men were being cut down around him and then killed his enemies after they brought the dead back to their fort (why they brought the dead back to their hide-out is unclear... and totally fucking stupid).

His commanding officers realize how much of a coward he is and, instead of demoting him (which would have looked bad due to his recent rank award), Boyd is sent to Fort Spencer in the remote Sierra Nevada mountains.

Once in exile, or at least the closest thing to it, Boyd meets the rag-tag skeleton crew manning the fort. Colonel Hart (Jeffery Jones) is the commanding officer, with Knox (Stephen Spinella) the alcoholic second in command. Along for the ride is the always high (he loves the peace pipe) Private Cleaves (David Arquette), Private Toffler (Jeremy Davies, aka Daniel Faraday from LOST), Private Reich (Neal McDonough) and an couple of Indians because why the fuck not, right?

So Boyd is kind of pissed and still confused about his earlier awards ceremony and even more confused about what led to his sudden courageousness at the enemy fort. After he played dead, he was thrown into a heap along with his dead comrades- as a result, he was covered in his fellow patriots' blood, some of which inevitably went down his throat. It was this unexpected and accidental consumption of blood that rejuvenated Boyd and led to his rampage.

He doesn't have much time at the fort to think ponder this discovery, as late one night a half dead guy stumbles into his camp. After saving the mans life, the stranger, who reveals himself to be an F.W. Colhoun, tells his tale. He was part of a west bound party that hit rough times. The group started off fine, but bad weather forced them into a cave. There, they quickly ran out of food and had to turn on their oxen and horses for sustenance- the eventually turned on each other. Colhoun barely escaped from the lead cannibal in the group, Colonel Ives. Ives killed four people total before Colhoun was able to escape.

As you can imagine, the group at Fort Spencer are collectively shocked by this mans claims and immediately set out to investigate. It's right around here where the story gets predictable. Colhoun leads them to the cave, where Reich and Boyd go in to investigate. While they're inside, Colhoun picks the rest of the men off one by one- the entire story was a trap and it's Colhoun who is actually the crazed cannibal killer.

After a crazy fight scene in the woods where everyone but Boyd dies (he only lives because he eats most of a very dead Reich), Boyd returns to camp to tell his tale. General Slauson is in charge now, taking over for Hart. When Boyd tells his story, no one really believes him, especially after Colhoun, now being refereed to by his real name Colonel Ives. Boyd flips a shit when he sees him and this only makes him look even more insane.

Ives starts fucking with Boyd immediately, playing dumb when Boyd accuses him around others, but revealing that he is actually a cannibal when they're alone. It all comes to a head when Ives tells Boyd about how the consumption of human flesh and blood causes the canibal to grow stronger and more healthy, kind of like getting 100 coins or a mushroom in Super Mario.

I'm going to fast forward to a bunch more crazy shit including a drunken chess game, a stew being made out of people meat, murdered horses, a murdered Arquette and a whole lot of facial hair.

There's a great shot near the end of the movie, when Boyd and Col. Hart are talking about cannibalism. Hart is arguing that all Boyd has to do is kill, "Kill to live," he yells right before stabbing a dagger into a table. The next shot is from behind the table, with the dagger dividing the screen, with Hart on one side and Boyd on the other. This is an awesome shot and drives home the point that Hart is on one side (cannibalism) and Boyd is on the other (the side of not being fucking crazy)- good vs evil, if you will.

A pretty epic final battle between Ives and Boyd ends the movie, with each stabbing/beating/maiming/bear-trapping ("That was really sneaky") each other a shit ton of times- maybe not that realistic but definitely awesome. I won't say who wins- consider this a cliff hanger until you go and watch the movie.

One of the only issues I had with this movie, the only one I can really think of besides a few rough cuts in the action sequences, was the soundtrack. In some scenes, it was great- it set the mood perfectly with a blend of tribal tunes and suspense driven strings. But in other parts it was pretty distracting and it made me wonder just who the hell decided to put certain songs in these otherwise great scenes.

In the end, this was a terribly interesting and entertaining film that caught me totally off guard. I loved it and can't help but think that the guys behind the Red Dead Redemption video game were fans of this movie as well (especially the American Appetite mini-stories). Catch this movie the next time you get a chance, I guarantee it will leave you hungry for more.

Potpourri: Steve Plays a Game Against Himself

So my last semester has started and of course, it's been non-stop work (ok, kind of a lie, I have showered once or twice). And poor Mike started a new job so he hasn't had time to do much reviewing anyhow.

But if I'm being honest with you all, January and February aren't normally stellar months for movies, with the exception of limited distribution Oscar nom's that finally go wide. Seriously, look up the numbers... the highest rated film on RottenTomatoes.com with wide distribution this year was Justin Bieber: Never Say Never with a 68%. I'm not kidding (though I did hear it was actually pretty good...), click the link and scroll to the bottom. It's also shows some real winners, like Season of the Witch (4%) and The Roommate (6%), a rating so low it would actually be admirable of you if you could find someone who liked those films.

My original plan for this post was to steal this idea from an article MSN posted about "should" and "will" win at the Oscar's, which was pretty well done until I realized they were basically just kissing The Social Network's ass. Now, as you all know, we've already had our 2010 Film Awards, which are clearly more important and accurate than the Oscars.

So instead, I'm gonna look ahead to the coming weeks and see if there is anything worth getting out into the snow to see. Usually January and February don't entice me too much, but things kick up in March. Let's see how long I can stay out of the theater.

(NOTE: I'll only be looking at wide releases, I could talk about limited's all day but I've got things to do.)

Ok, starting with tomorrow (February 18), we have I Am Number Four, Unknown, and Big Mommas House: Like Father Like Son.

I don't even know what to say, I can't commit or repute the first two, but the trailers are less than stellar. And the third, well, Martin Lawrence has officially joined Eddie Murphy in my book.

(Though I did get a laugh out of this, early screenings from RottenTomatoes have posted a 0% rating, which is unheard of and means Season of the Witch is 4x better than this movie... Wow.)

Moving on...

February 23 we've got Hall Pass and Drive Angry.

Hall Pass might be funny, but odds are it'll fall short of my minor expectations. As for Drive Angry... it's revenge movie (so usually pretty good... see Taken), but it's also a Nicholas Cage movie... so how the hell should I know! For every Raising Arizona, he's got a Wicker Man. Leaving Las Vegas, Season of the Witch. National Treasure, National Treasure 2. It's a crap shoot there.

Into March, we've got Rango and the Adjustment Bureau.

Like I said, in March things start to pick up and some decent movies come around. Rango has some appeal, especially since animated films have been trending toward more adult audiences (thanks to Pixar), and this one might be the most adult of all. As for the Adjustment Bureau, Damon's got cred in my book so I'd consider seeing it just because of him, but it might be too much paranoia for me, a la Enemy of the State ten years later.

So, still nothing gonna drag me outta the house. How bout March 11th?

Red Riding Hood, Battle: Los Angeles, and Mars Needs Mom's.

Mars Needs Mom's might be something I'd see if I had kids, but I don't. And I can't stand Seth Green outside of being Scott Evil. Pass.

Red Riding Hood intrigues me, but only so much as many horror movies have in recent memory, only to let me down. Catherine Hardwicke directed Twilight... I'm not going to be fooled this time.

Now, Battle: Los Angeles has more cred then many people think I would give it. Aaron Eckhart isn't quite at Damon's cred level, but I have respect for the man to not take part in a generically shitty film. At first glance, I'd say it could be this generation's Independence Day... but upon further review, it's directed by Jonathan Liebesman, the genius behind the Texas Chainsaw Massacre prequel and Darkness Falls... Eckhart, it would've never worked between us anyhow.

Ugh, it's getting stuffy in here... I've been cooped up since True Grit was release! Someone help me!

Okay, moving on. March 18 we've got Paul, Limitless, and The Lincoln Lawyer.

Limitless seems that it will be part of a pattern. Take a hot new actor (Bradley Cooper, and hot in marketability not physically, though who can resist that smile...) and pair him with an older but still well-known actor (Robert DeNiro) and watch the magic happen! Not so much, I'd definitely have to hear good things before I went out for this one.

The Lincoln Lawyer is a Matthew McConaughey film.

And finally we have Paul, which I hadn't heard a thing about until now. Simon Pegg and crew teaming with Seth Rogen and Jason Bateman? Yes please! Though, after reviewing the trailer, I do think it lacks some depth and might be just a movie made to get a bunch of fun actors together and dick around (a la Strange Wilderness, Couples Retreat)

Well, one week left...

March 25, we have The Beaver, Sucker Punch, and Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2

Technically the Beaver comes out March 23, but nevertheless it's a film directed by Jodie Foster starring Mel Gibson. (I'm laughing a little inside and it's getting hard to suppress it) I'm sorry for laughing, it's just poor Mel... Poor anti-semetic Mel...

Now Sucker Punch would be something I'd get out to see, Zach Snyder's wow'd before with 300 and Dawn of the Dead, but rumors are that early test screenings said the film were not so hot. And I might not yet be over the bland and snore-filled Watchmen.

As for Diary of a Wimpy Kid, I heard the first was pretty good, and most of the cast and crew should be returning (I'm not sure, at this point I got to lazy to look anything else up). So maybe if I get forced into watching the first one I might make it out for this... The forecast is doubtful though.

Doubtful until the snow melts.

Kamo/Kochems Mini-Awards!

BONUS TIME!

Aside from the more serious awards we give out (Best Film, etc.), Steve and I decided to come up with some lesser, but much more fun awards to share with you guys. From Best Moustache to Best Fight Scene, we touch on all the bases here!

Dolph Lundgren Award (Best Action Movie) 
Mike: Up first is the Dolph Lundgren award for Best Action Movie. I select The Expendables. 
Steve: It's too over the top and I refuse to reward that, I'm picking Red.

M: But we're talking about pure action, The Expendables is probably the definition of an action movie!

S: Yeah, but Red is an awesome satire of an action movie, while being an awesome action movie... when in doubt pick Malkovich.

Steven Segal Award (Best Fight Scene)

S: Hmm, I gotta go with the hallway fight scene in Inception.

M: I'm going with the Rob Riggle/Ashton Kutcher scene from The Killers. Lots of action, funny, and it was fun to watch. I liked the Hallway fight scene because I thought it was really unique and fresh. I could go either way on this one. Rob Riggle was funny to watch though- not a guy you think of when you think about fighting/action. 
S: Had I dragged myself to the theater to see that shlock, I probably would agree with you. 
M: It was just too ridiculous. With Inception, it was very Matrix-like. Gordon-Levitt showed that he could beat some ass.

David Hasselhoff Award (Best Chase/Running Scene)

M: I'm choosing a scene from Salt, where Jolie is in an SUV and beating all kinds of ass while driving said SUV.

S: Again, another movie I didn't deem worthy to see, though this one I somewhat regret... I've gotta go with possibly the best moment of 2010 cinema, When The Rock and Sam Jackson chase down the villains in The Other Guys, only to take an overly confident jump.

M: I forgot about that one! Yeah, that was pretty epic, but Jolie steered a car with a bad guys head. Again, I could go with either on this one.

S: I guess next time I see what seems to be a generic action movie I should take the chance and see it.

M: Well, I'm sure they're gonna make another one, the ending was pretty open.

The Hindsight Award (Shoulda Seen but Couldn't - Wide Release) 
S: Well I just admitted I'd wish I saw Salt, the same can be said about The Expendables... but one movie I was really upset I missed this year was The American with George Clooney- from what I heard it was highly underrated.

M: I heard The American was good, but the one movie I really wish I would have seen was The Social Network. All the buzz... I heard good and bad about it, but I would have liked to make my own decision on the outcome.

S: True, I just think The American might've been more along my taste. 
M: Yeah, you're a Clooney fan. I kinda wish I would have seen The Town as well.

S: Yup, but we only get to pick one.

M: haha true. I'm going with The Social Network.

S: The American for me.

Proof-That-We-Need-Funding Award (Shoulda Seen but Couldn't - Limited Distribution)

M: I'm going with 127 Hours. Heard it was awesome, great story and James Franco is great.

S: Again, can't disagree with you, but I'm going to go more limited here and pick Biutiful with Javier Bardem in his darkest role since No Country for Old Men.
M: I didn't hear too much about that one, I'll have to wait until it's out on DVD before I see it.

S: It's dark, it's gritty, it's Indie, so of course I'd love it.

M: Sure. It's a good thing Black Swan got a wide release.

S: And The Fighter.

M: Yeah, grateful for that one.

The Surprise Trust Fall Award (Most Shocking Twist in a Movie) 
S: I'm gonna give us our first two time winner here and pick when The Rock and Sam Jackson jump off the roof in The Other Guys- I still laugh thinking about it. 

M: haha good call. Shutter Island and Inception could be up here, but I think I'm gonna go with 'Oh shit, he's fucking BLIND' from Book of Eli. Denzel is a beast.

S: Ah, another great one. I love when he bumps into the table, such a subtly hint real early in the film but makes a ton of sense the second time around. 
M: Yeah, there was another part where Mila Kunis and Denzel were walking up to the cannibals house, and he sort of tripped/kicked the bottom step.

S: It makes you think maybe Denzel is just getting sloppy with his acting, but nay sir, nay.

The Diamond in the Turd Award (Best Acting in a Shitty Movie)

M: I'm going with Bruce Willis in Cop Out. 
S: Ugh, that isn't fair because Cop Out was so shitty, it's like finding a good blueberry in a completely shitty pie... I've gotta pick Robert Downey Jr. in Due Date. 
M: Good call, I might have to switch and go with RDJ as well. I thought Tracy Morgan was funny in Cop Out and Willis was pretty good too, but yeah. RDJ wins for me as well. 
S: I think we're just better off not rewarding Cop Out with any awards whatsoever. 
M: haha what about Best Movie Featuring the Parkour of Sean William Scott? 
S: I actually went on IMDB in the hopes of finding another movie he did this year, but since Cop Out is the only one I guess we've gotta give it that. 
M: I'll be sure to add it in.

The Lebowski Award (Movie with Most Quotable Potential) 
S: Honestly I thought we lacked a good one this year, but since I've gotta pick I'd go with Red- gotta see how the second viewing does though since that's where you find the real gems.

M: Since I didnt see Red, I'm going with Get Him to the Greek... So many funny lines. "My house is gonna look like a fuckin Werewolf" was the funniest from a very funny P. Diddy. 
S: Ah, well that had an unfair advantage of the voice of a generation, or is that Kanye? 
M: Kanye is a poet and the voice of a generation. He is the both the modern day Bob Dylan and John Lennon. 
S: Oh yeah... right, okay well ten times outta ten I'll take John Malkovich as my voice instead.

Magnum P.I. Award (Best Cop Moustache)

M: Tom Selleck in The Killers. 
S: Are you kidding? I don't even have a rebuttal. You said it all. Selleck > Other Moustaches. 
M: Tom Selleck is the moustache of a generation 
S: He's the Moustache of the Millenia.

Final Word 

S: Overall I was quite satisfied with 2010 Films as a whole. While it had a fair share of stinkers, I think the quality films out weighted the crappy ones. In 2011, I can instantly say my most anticipated film is Thor, but I can't wait to get this new year blogging underway.

M: I would agree. While there were a lot of movies I was disappointed with (most comedies), I think films like True Grit, Toy Story 3, The Expendables, Jackass 3D and many others made up for it. I'm excited for 2011, namely the new JJ Abrams flick Super 8. Also, Thor is gonna be fucking epic. Can't wait to start writing new blog posts.