From the Peanut Gallery

By Steve Kochems

Hey, welcome to the first edition of From the Peanut Gallery, my horribly cliche'd title for what is basically my commentary on an issue. To be honest, I've really gotta be drawn out by something to do this, but recently I was. I missed, for the 68th consecutive year, this years edition of the Golden Globes... and didn't really regret it one bit until I heard how outrageous Ricky Gervais was. And now, I've officially finally been made to care about the Golden Globes.

First let me say that clearly nobody learned what happens when you cast a real, honest comic as the host of what should be an easy evening for someone powerful and how wrong it can go. Just to be sure, I re-watched clips from Gervais' hosting duties the previous year, where he teetered the fence of offensive and seemed borderline drunk. So the Hollywood Foreign Press Association had to know what they were getting into.

Most of the stars had to know to some extent what could happen with Gervais up there- he's one of the few comics who doesn't need the approval of Hollywood to make money or be successful. He's widely popular in the UK and Hollywood can't change that. But what irks me most is how sensitive everyone seems about his comments. Sure, his comments about Robert Downey Jr. were just about worthy of a beat down, but he's a comic. Does anyone honestly think that if Louis CK got up there he'd be any more merciful? Hollywood today is littered with jokes waiting to be told. Hell, he didn't even make one Lohan crack either!

(Note: Surprised she wasn't nominated for something... yes, I know she wasn't in anything to be nominated, but the morons who thought The Tourist was worthy but True Grit wasn't should be criticized for breathing in poor patterns if you ask me).

My point here is that they knew what they were getting into and got the worst of it. Gervais will never host (or be allowed/nominated) there again. But can anyone out there really tell me that if thirty or forty years ago they let Richard Pryor or Rodney Dangerfield host it would've been any different? Or George Carlin? I guess what I'm getting at is that comics today are totally different and true ones are few and far between. Steve Carell is not a comic, Ashton Kutcher is not a comic (or much of an actor)- Ricky Gervais is. Comedic actors need Hollywood to thrive, good comics don't. And the ones that think they do (See: Dane Cook, Lewis Black (upsetting), Zach Galfanakis) are often shoehorned into terrible movies that are only made to bring in people from that persons fan base, who are then in turn usually disappointed (The Hangover is an exception) because the script, director, and supporting cast sucks.

The bottom line is that while I agree Gervais crossed some lines and would've pissed me off had I been a target, nobody seemed to see it coming when it was all obviously laid out before them. Does any of it really matter though? Seriously, who looks at two movies and says "well, this one was nominated for a Golden Globe!" and that's the deciding factor? I hate most major award shows because they are usually very corporate and often rigged.

(Note: I did have one person in the business who supposedly has a friend who transported 2009's Oscar winners to the show, which included best Actor Mickey Rouke, not Sean Penn, whose speech was so well timed for the upcoming Gay Rights Vote in California)

(Extra Note: I'm not against Gay Rights, just Sean Penn)

(Additional Note: I'm kidding, I'd totally do a movie with Sean Penn)

So to sum this up, I'll use an age old saying... Who cares? It's the Golden Globes! I don't care, I doubt Mike cares, my girlfriend doesn't care, and I don't think Obama cares- that's as big as my list gets. I don't even have interest in them, I'll at least look at the Oscar winners just to see how far off the Academy is from the obviously correct opinion that I have. So good for you Ricky Gervais, with this blacklisting from Hollywood, at least you'll never have to make anything as bad as "The Invention of Lying" again.

Kamo/Kochems Mini-Awards!

BONUS TIME!

Aside from the more serious awards we give out (Best Film, etc.), Steve and I decided to come up with some lesser, but much more fun awards to share with you guys. From Best Moustache to Best Fight Scene, we touch on all the bases here!

Dolph Lundgren Award (Best Action Movie) 
Mike: Up first is the Dolph Lundgren award for Best Action Movie. I select The Expendables. 
Steve: It's too over the top and I refuse to reward that, I'm picking Red.

M: But we're talking about pure action, The Expendables is probably the definition of an action movie!

S: Yeah, but Red is an awesome satire of an action movie, while being an awesome action movie... when in doubt pick Malkovich.

Steven Segal Award (Best Fight Scene)

S: Hmm, I gotta go with the hallway fight scene in Inception.

M: I'm going with the Rob Riggle/Ashton Kutcher scene from The Killers. Lots of action, funny, and it was fun to watch. I liked the Hallway fight scene because I thought it was really unique and fresh. I could go either way on this one. Rob Riggle was funny to watch though- not a guy you think of when you think about fighting/action. 
S: Had I dragged myself to the theater to see that shlock, I probably would agree with you. 
M: It was just too ridiculous. With Inception, it was very Matrix-like. Gordon-Levitt showed that he could beat some ass.

David Hasselhoff Award (Best Chase/Running Scene)

M: I'm choosing a scene from Salt, where Jolie is in an SUV and beating all kinds of ass while driving said SUV.

S: Again, another movie I didn't deem worthy to see, though this one I somewhat regret... I've gotta go with possibly the best moment of 2010 cinema, When The Rock and Sam Jackson chase down the villains in The Other Guys, only to take an overly confident jump.

M: I forgot about that one! Yeah, that was pretty epic, but Jolie steered a car with a bad guys head. Again, I could go with either on this one.

S: I guess next time I see what seems to be a generic action movie I should take the chance and see it.

M: Well, I'm sure they're gonna make another one, the ending was pretty open.

The Hindsight Award (Shoulda Seen but Couldn't - Wide Release) 
S: Well I just admitted I'd wish I saw Salt, the same can be said about The Expendables... but one movie I was really upset I missed this year was The American with George Clooney- from what I heard it was highly underrated.

M: I heard The American was good, but the one movie I really wish I would have seen was The Social Network. All the buzz... I heard good and bad about it, but I would have liked to make my own decision on the outcome.

S: True, I just think The American might've been more along my taste. 
M: Yeah, you're a Clooney fan. I kinda wish I would have seen The Town as well.

S: Yup, but we only get to pick one.

M: haha true. I'm going with The Social Network.

S: The American for me.

Proof-That-We-Need-Funding Award (Shoulda Seen but Couldn't - Limited Distribution)

M: I'm going with 127 Hours. Heard it was awesome, great story and James Franco is great.

S: Again, can't disagree with you, but I'm going to go more limited here and pick Biutiful with Javier Bardem in his darkest role since No Country for Old Men.
M: I didn't hear too much about that one, I'll have to wait until it's out on DVD before I see it.

S: It's dark, it's gritty, it's Indie, so of course I'd love it.

M: Sure. It's a good thing Black Swan got a wide release.

S: And The Fighter.

M: Yeah, grateful for that one.

The Surprise Trust Fall Award (Most Shocking Twist in a Movie) 
S: I'm gonna give us our first two time winner here and pick when The Rock and Sam Jackson jump off the roof in The Other Guys- I still laugh thinking about it. 

M: haha good call. Shutter Island and Inception could be up here, but I think I'm gonna go with 'Oh shit, he's fucking BLIND' from Book of Eli. Denzel is a beast.

S: Ah, another great one. I love when he bumps into the table, such a subtly hint real early in the film but makes a ton of sense the second time around. 
M: Yeah, there was another part where Mila Kunis and Denzel were walking up to the cannibals house, and he sort of tripped/kicked the bottom step.

S: It makes you think maybe Denzel is just getting sloppy with his acting, but nay sir, nay.

The Diamond in the Turd Award (Best Acting in a Shitty Movie)

M: I'm going with Bruce Willis in Cop Out. 
S: Ugh, that isn't fair because Cop Out was so shitty, it's like finding a good blueberry in a completely shitty pie... I've gotta pick Robert Downey Jr. in Due Date. 
M: Good call, I might have to switch and go with RDJ as well. I thought Tracy Morgan was funny in Cop Out and Willis was pretty good too, but yeah. RDJ wins for me as well. 
S: I think we're just better off not rewarding Cop Out with any awards whatsoever. 
M: haha what about Best Movie Featuring the Parkour of Sean William Scott? 
S: I actually went on IMDB in the hopes of finding another movie he did this year, but since Cop Out is the only one I guess we've gotta give it that. 
M: I'll be sure to add it in.

The Lebowski Award (Movie with Most Quotable Potential) 
S: Honestly I thought we lacked a good one this year, but since I've gotta pick I'd go with Red- gotta see how the second viewing does though since that's where you find the real gems.

M: Since I didnt see Red, I'm going with Get Him to the Greek... So many funny lines. "My house is gonna look like a fuckin Werewolf" was the funniest from a very funny P. Diddy. 
S: Ah, well that had an unfair advantage of the voice of a generation, or is that Kanye? 
M: Kanye is a poet and the voice of a generation. He is the both the modern day Bob Dylan and John Lennon. 
S: Oh yeah... right, okay well ten times outta ten I'll take John Malkovich as my voice instead.

Magnum P.I. Award (Best Cop Moustache)

M: Tom Selleck in The Killers. 
S: Are you kidding? I don't even have a rebuttal. You said it all. Selleck > Other Moustaches. 
M: Tom Selleck is the moustache of a generation 
S: He's the Moustache of the Millenia.

Final Word 

S: Overall I was quite satisfied with 2010 Films as a whole. While it had a fair share of stinkers, I think the quality films out weighted the crappy ones. In 2011, I can instantly say my most anticipated film is Thor, but I can't wait to get this new year blogging underway.

M: I would agree. While there were a lot of movies I was disappointed with (most comedies), I think films like True Grit, Toy Story 3, The Expendables, Jackass 3D and many others made up for it. I'm excited for 2011, namely the new JJ Abrams flick Super 8. Also, Thor is gonna be fucking epic. Can't wait to start writing new blog posts.

Best Film Award of 2010

by Steve Kochems 

Hey kids, it’s that moment you’ve all been waiting for… (no not Christmas, that was weeks ago) at the bottom of this post is the first winner of the Kamo and Kochems Best Film Award! But before we get to that, I’d just like to give a quick tid-bit as to why I think each film has a shot at being the best of the year.

The Fighter

While it’s not an entirely fresh story (very few sports ones are), the cast drives this one. The quiet and tolerant Mickey, a confident and cock-sure crack addicted Dicky, and the hard-shelled Bostonian of a bartender Charlene are what keep this film fresh and interesting till the final punch. 

Inception

The concept alone is so original and inventive that it stands out further than any film in the last decade. In an era where 80% of Hollywood films are sequels/prequels, remakes, or from a previous source text, Inception is a landmark of creativity.

Toy Story 3 

Aesthetics alone can drive this film I’ve never felt so strongly involved in a narrative like I did in this film. Many will say it’s got the unfair advantage of two previous films to build it up, I would also argue that it’s got those two films to live up to, and Pixar manages to shatter the expectations that seem to go up for them every year.

Black Swan

An intense exploration into a young girl becoming a woman, Darren Aronofsky dazzles us with a dark and sexually violent film that has numerous thematic threads working beneath such a simple plot (not an easy thing to do with a ballet movie). 

True Grit

In a genre that has been so explored in cinema, only the Coen’s could come out with something as good as True Grit. While it’s the simplest of the two brother’s films to date, it’s probably the best-rounded movie of the year and will only get better with more viewings.

Now, before we announce the winner, I’d like to take the time to thank our eight critics who helped vote- Mike and I cannot say enough about how much we appreciate your input. Below you can see the votes for the Best Film category we received last week- we feel it’s worth noting how broad they were and that really shows just how diverse our critics were. Again, we thank you. 

Received Six Votes:
Toy Story 3 

Received Five Votes:
True Grit
The Fighter
Inception 

Received Four Votes:
Black Swan 

Received Three Votes:
(none)


Received Two Votes:
Despicable Me
The Town
How to Train Your Dragon
Shutter Island


Received One Vote:
127 Hours
Kick Ass
Repo Men
Tangled
The Expendables
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Machete
The Kids are Alright
Red
The Tillman Story
Prince of Persia: Sands of Time
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

Burlesque

So, with these things aside, we’ve punched our esteemed voters grades into our high tech calculating machine and we’ve got our winner. It’s interesting to note though that all five of these films received an average score of 88 or above and were within 5 points of each other. In fact, the winning margin was 0.05 points!

The winner of the Kamo and Kochems 2010 Best Film Award is…

                                True Grit

All in all, I think True Grit won because the Coen Brothers can write a script and shoot a movie unlike anyone else in the world. It had an all-star cast and such likable characters who all still must pay the price to prove themselves, to prove their grit. It’s also the film that will hold up to repeat viewings the best of the five films in the finals. I’ve already saved a spot on my shelf for the DVD case and am proud that our first Best Film Award went to this film (though I’m hoping next year is much easier!).

Here’s to 2010 and bring in 2011!

Best Popcorn Flick/Best Comedy

Hey peoples, take down your God damn Christmas tree because we're here to announce two more award winners!

Best Popcorn Flick


Best popcorn flick, or the best movie to see in the theater this year, is an important award, especially to the Box Office (who may or may not be paying for us to include this category). It's kind of a hindsight award, mocking those who will never get the experience we did seeing it upon release, though I suppose if you have a big TV and surround sound you'd get most of the experience. Plus you don't gotta wear pants.


Anyways, here are our nominees for Best Popcorn Flick of 2010!


Iron Man 2
Inception
Red (2010)
The Expendables
Resident Evil: Afterlife


And the Winner is...

Iron Man 2
This was a close call, but the average film fan in me pushed Iron Man 2 just ahead of Inception, which was mostly carried by Hans Zimmer's score and like I've said, gets too wrapped up in its own concept. Ultimately, Favreau manages to overcome the shadow of the first film and keep it fresh. Is it a better movie than Inception? No, but if I had to go to see one movie in the theater right now, I'd have to pick RDJ and company for Iron Man 2 (btw, it was also the only movie I saw twice in theaters this year).


Best Comedy


Comedy movies are meant to be funny. That might sound a bit redundant, but a lot of the "comedy" films released in 2010 did not meet that simple criterion (that list is probably longer than our nominees).


The films nominated in this category succeeded in one simple think- being memorable for being funny.

Get Him to the Greek

Hot Tub Time Machine
Jackass 3D
The Other Guys

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

And the Winner is...

Get Him to the Greek
Jackass 3D was good, but we've seen it twice before. Hot Tub Time Machine was funny, but the dumb factor was a bit over the top. Get Him to the Greek was a fresh comedy with a hilarious cast (Jonah Hill and Russell Brand, two hilarious actors, were out-shined by an amazing performance by P. Diddy) and a ridiculous but completely plausible plot. The antics and random funny situations the duo of Hill and Brand get into are enough to push this movie into first place for Best Comedy... you don't even have to smoke a Jeffery to see that!

Most Disappointing Film/Best Film to Watch Under the Influence Awards!

Happy Friday! We've got our first batch of awards to unleash, so hit the bathroom, turn on the TiVo and lock the cat in the closet because the Kamo and Kochems Film Blog Awards have officially begun!

Most Disappointing Film

I wanted to start the welcome to 2011 right by pointing out, in true Festivus fashion, the biggest disappointments of 2010. This might have been by far the toughest category for me to judge since, well, there was a ton of shit served up to us last year. Really, my nominee's for this category are about 18 movies- I almost asked Mike to let me extend the nominee's like to ten just so I could vent about all of this garbage.

So here you are, people- a depressed person's uplifting moment.. the nominees for the Most Disappointing Film of 2010!

Dinner for Schmucks
Kick-Ass
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
Clash of the Titans (2010)
Prince of Persia: Sands of Time

And the Winner is...
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

It's truly baffling that a story that had been so well rounded twenty-five years ago could fall so far under the digital age. Yeah, the effects are outstanding but that doesn't make a movie good. There were some real contenders here, but this one stands as a major black mark on the 21st century and its plethora of awful horror remakes.


Best Movie to Watch Under the Influence

Drugs, booze or "other", these movies are made all the better while under the influence. Maybe they're funnier or just plain awesome, see if your favorites make this list.

(NOTE: We are not condoning anything illegal to be done during the viewing of these films, nor are we implying that we have done as such, this is mere speculation and firsthand experience... I mean, secondhand experience)

Due Date
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
Alice in Wonderland (2010)
Hot Tub Time Machine
Machete

And the Winner is...
Machete

Alice in Wonderland would have been awesome (of course) to watch under the influence and Hot Tub Time Machine would be hilarious, but there was something about watching Machete with a case of beer and a bottle of Wild Turkey that brought it over the top (like it wasn't over the top to begin with, right?). Heads getting chopped off, nudity, a mans entrails being used as a rope, Danny Trejo being a complete badass... amazing.

2010 Film Awards Nominees

Hey folks! In the coming days you’ll get a plethora of posts from us as we wrap up 2010 with our awards. It was… interesting. We’ve just received the final votes from our international panel of critics (and yes, one is in England and one is from Canada, and no, I’m not lying) and we have our final five nominees for Best Film of 2010.

Here we will give you the nominees for all of our five major categories. Stay tuned though, as each day we will announce winners up until Sunday, when we hold our big awards show (from my living room) and post what everyone is dying to find out: the Best Film winner of 2010!

So, without anymore filler… I’m proud to announce the nominees for the 2010 Kamo and Kochems Film Awards! 

Most Disappointing

Dinner for Schmucks
Son of a bitch! I wanted to like this movie, but I just couldn't stand it. Unrelatable and extremely moronic characters had me ready to leave the theater. Galifianakis, Rudd and Carell were the Three Muskateers of garbage in this one- I usually like Rudd films, too...

Kick-Ass
I couldn't stand the main character in this otherwise great film. Nic Cage and Hit Girl were fantastic, but Aaron Johnson was a whiny bitch even after he became a "superhero"- Christopher Mintz-Plasse didn't help matters.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
A giant pile of puke that probably made Wes Craven cry and Robert Englund laugh at his new found immortality.

Clash of the Titans (2010)
I guess this movie is a joke? I didn’t know that when I went in there… So I guess the jokes on me… Mazel tov! 

Prince of Persia: Sands of Time
Jerry Bruckheimer tricked me! This is not as good as Pirates of the Caribbean! It’s like Aladdin meets Marty McFly! Damn you Bruckheimer!!

Best Movie to Watch Under the Influence

Due Date
Let down comedies always are funnier when you’re on something…

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
Disappointing yes, but with one click of the mute button this might be worth getting drunk and staring at for a while with maybe some CCR in the background.

Alice in Wonderland (2010)
Come on... this was a given. Crazy animals talking. Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter! A DRAGON! Well, technically it's a Jabberwocky but that doesn't matter. What does is this movie was awesome, but a little something extra didn't hurt the viewing experience.

Hot Tub Time Machine
Oh God. This was just too funny to begin with, but watching it under the influence only made it that much better. The scene with Rob Corddry pouring the shot over his shoulder and then chugging the bottle of whiskey only made me want to drink (and laugh) even more.

Machete
Action packed, oddly funny, a bit sexy, a bit more action packed, a bit more bourbon, a bit more epicness... you guys get the picture.

Best Popcorn Flick

Iron Man 2
I had way too much anticipation for this movie, ever since the trailer… The strange thing is that it didn’t let me down. Big screen, surround sound are a must.

Inception
A complete must see in the theatres, Nolan scores again with great cinematography and NOT relying on special effects. Hans Zimmer could score me brushing my teeth and it would be epic.

Red (2010)
Been a frontrunner since I saw it, even thought about throwing it into best picture I liked it so much. Just good, quality satire/action fun.

The Expendables
There is just too much action in this film for my television to handle, and that's why I'll never watch it again. It wasn't a bad movie, I just can't imagine see Terry Crews walking down a hallway with a chain-gun, mowing down bad guys on my TV set...

Resident Evil: Afterlife
Zombies exploding in 3D. Boom. This movie was made for the big screen.

Best Comedy

Get Him to the Greek
Russel Brand returns as out-of-control British rocker Aldous Snow. Throw in funnyman Jonah Hill and a surprisingly hilarious and memorable performance by Sean Diddy Combs, and you have one of the funniest/best films of the year.

Hot Tub Time Machine
A lot of people were wary of this film because the premise is fucking ridiculous. A hot tub sends four friends back in time? DUMB! But it wasn't dumb, it was extremely funny (and kind of dumb) and the cast (John Cusack, Clark Duke, Craig Robinson and Rob Corddry) embraced the ridiculousness and came out on top.

Jackass 3D
The Jackass crew returns for the grossest, craziest and funniest film yet. The 3D, while not completely necessary for this film to succeed, was a great added touch. And who doesn't like to see grown men super glue themselves to each other or kick each other in the balls? *A rhetorical question- everyone likes to see that*

The Other Guys
Like Cop Out, I was sold by the trailer… Unlike Cop Out, it didn’t disappoint. A true buddy cop movie with two horribly flawed characters that never gets so full of itself that they can fully break out of their own shells. The Rock and Sam Jackson could’ve had a movie of their own.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Yeah I know, a ton of people hate Michael Cera for some reason (can you really consider someone that young typecasted?), but this is probably the most underrated movie of the year as it is not only one of the best adaptations of a comic but also a great forum for video game nostalgia.

Best Film 

Toy Story 3
A light-hearted animation that has the broadest appeal of a film with a deep thematic impulse like I’ve never seen before, as only Pixar can do. 

True Grit
Western’s return! The Coen score (again) with probably their most straight forward and stable film to date. From script to screening, these boys don’t miss a beat. 

The Fighter
What some have called a worn story with great actors I call a fresh sheet of already seen cloth… with some of the best behind the threading. 

Black Swan
Suspenseful, psychological, sexual- can you say much more for this movie? With many directors it would descend into soft-core porn but Aronofsky shows he knows how to hold even the strangest films together. 

Inception
Definitely one of the most inventive concepts in recent cinematic history, coupled with probably the hottest director on the market, one of the finest actors of our generation, and the best score man in the business.

So that does it for our main categories. We’ll have the winner announced on Sunday, January 10th, but be sure to check back as we’ll be revealing other award winners each day up until the big finale.

After.Life

Reviewed by Mike Kamrowski

After.Life is the definition of a good movie that got little publicity. It really slipped through the cracks, so much so that I didn't even hear about it until a week ago. The strange part is... how the HELL did this happen?

The film was entertaining, suspenseful, very clever and unique, had a great cast and the camera work was top notch. So what happened here!?

After.Life follows Anna Taylor (Christina Ricci), a small town elementary school teacher as she goes from being alive to, well, being dead. We follow Anna on her final day of living, as she has a strange morning-sex incident with her boyfriend, Paul (Justin Long), to her trip to work and helping one of her students, Jack (Chandler Canterbury), after he gets teased by some older kids. She then attends the funeral of her old piano (?) teacher. Here we see funeral director Eliot Deacon (Liam Neeson) and how Anna reacts to the dead body. She then heads off to dinner that night where, unbeknown to her, Paul plans on proposing to her. He never gets the chance, however, and they end up getting into a fight. She storms off into the rain where a combination high emotions and bad driving skills and weather lands her smack into the back of an 18 wheeler (let's also not forget that she is a "she"- not surprised she died in a car accident...).

The rest of the movie takes place in Deacon's funeral home, where Anna, who still seems very much alive, tries to come to terms with her death. It's revealed that Deacon has the ability to speak with the dead, which he uses to help guide them into the afterlife (OMG IT'S THE MOVIE TITLE!!!). He doesn't want them to end up in, I don't know, Limbo or something, so he gives Anna (and apparently all the dead bodies that come his way) advice about dying and the funeral process. He is very calm about this, even when Anna flips a shit on him and breaks everything in the basement "autopsy" room Deacon uses to store and prepare the dead- it also happens to be under lock and key which is a bit odd, but there are some weird perverts out there. Anna is pretty sure she isn't dead, as is Paul, who is going crazy throughout the week leading up to Anna's funeral.

Paul is very upset about the whole incident, and who wouldn't be. One second you're about to propose to your girlfriend and the next second she's all sorts of dead- no thanks. So Paul goes to try and see his dead girlfriends body, but Deacon won't let him. Not family. Can't do it. Not possible.

What a dick.

So Paul is pissed and he tries to get some of his police friends to get him a search warrant so he can go see the body and check if Anna is actually dead or not. The circumstances behind the death are pretty fishy, and Paul, who just so happens to be an up-and-coming lawyer, doesn't like it one bit. There was no autopsy on Anna and the paramedics did nothing but check her pulse- the medical examiner signed the death certificate and off she went to the funeral home. Hmm....

Unfortunately, all his police friends think he's fucking nuts and just needs to grieve, which is understandable. Except Paul thinks that maybe Anna was drugged- he talks about a drug that can slow a persons heart rate and make them appear dead, and one of the other cops agrees with him. Still, nothing comes from it and Paul is shit out of luck, the poor bastard.

Meanwhile, Anna ends up stealing Deacon's key and manages to escape the basement and call Paul. Paul answers, but he can't hear Anna all that well and he dismisses it as a prank. At the same time, Jack, passing by the funeral home, sees Anna in the window. He later confronts Deacon about this, where Deacon goes on to tell him that some people have a special ability to see the dead. Perhaps Jack is one of these people...

The movie ends with a whole bunch of stuff that I don't want to get into because you JUST HAVE TO GO SEE THIS MOVIE. It really keeps you guessing the entire way through. Is Ricci still alive? Did Neeson just drug her and now he's about to kill her, but he wants her to suffer and think that she's actually dead and regret never doing anything with her life? Is everyone dead? Is this all a dream? What's up with Ricci's nipples, why do they look all weird and smooshed?

Well, I guess I could tell you a few secrets about the movie, but read the next section only if you want to ruin the end for yourself. If not, skip the rest of the review and come back after you've seen the film!

*SPOILER ALERT* Through all the guessing and "what-ifs", it's actually pretty obvious what happened- you just had to know where to look and what to take away from certain parts. Liam Neeson is a serial killer who, by way of funerals, chooses who to kill next. Don't ask me how he chooses them at funerals; the only example we see is with Ricci where he has little to no contact with her at all- perhaps he just "knows". He is upset with the world and the "corpses" that inhabit it. All they do is "piss and shit and breathe the air" that other "real" and "living" people deserve. His message, and ultimately the message of the film itself, is to live life to the fullest and don't take it for granted.

Since this is true, Neeson is actually a killer... shit! Did you see all those pictures he has on his wall!? Those are all of his victims. What a lunatic. And why keep them alive? Why not just kill them and not have this strange talk with them? Maybe he likes the power of being an "adviser" to the recently deceased and making these individuals feel bad about themselves and the seemingly pointless lives they've lived and the lack of appreciation they had for their lives.

He causes his victims "deaths" by forcing them to get into car accidents. It's his white van we see tailgating Ricci right before her accident. When Ricci hits the truck in front of her and "dies" Neeson is there to give her a shot of the drug that is used to paralyze people and slow their heart rate down, making them appear dead. He is a trusted member in the community, so when he tells the police/medics he thinks Ricci is dead, everyone believes him because she is (or so she appears due to the accident and injection from Neeson).

Other signs that Ricci is still alive, besides her being able to fucking walk around, talk, breathe and so on, can be seen in the scene where she tries to call Paul. Not only does Paul hear her on the phone, but Jack sees her in the window and we are able to see the fog created by her breath on the mirror she stands in front of. Dead people don't have breath that can fog up a mirror, but then again, dead people can't fucking walk around, talk, breathe and so on. Idiots.

I also enjoyed how Neeson tricked Jack into thinking he can also see ghosts. It looks like he has an apprentice to his strange plan to rid the world of people who don't get the most out of life. A sequel to this movie is out of the question, as the best part of After.Life was trying to figure out who was dead and if Neeson was a killer or not. WHICH HE WAS.

Overall, this film was a real treat. Interesting story, great twist at the end (although you could really see it coming), great cast (Neeson was a bit toned down) and good message. I'm glad I heard about it and I'm glad Netflix had it on Instant. Oh Netflix... where would we be without you?

Also, naked Christina Ricci.

Rating: 4 out of 5