The Fighter

Reviewed by Steve Kochems and Mike Kamrowski

My favorite sports writer, Bill Simmons, pointed out in his ESPN column that there have been 35 boxing movies in the last 35 years, most of which follow the cookie-cutter pattern of big name star who plays an under achieving fighter, meets a girl in his neighborhood, and then builds up to the big fight climax where he wins everything, including the girl. This of course is not the case with classics like Million Dollar Baby or Rocky (or Rocky Balboa for that matter). The 2010 film The Fighter may seem like just another boxing movie, but you’d have to see it to realize how fresh and new it feels.

The movie follows boxer Mickey Ward (Mark Wahlberg) and his relationship with his older brother, Dicky Eklund (Christian Bale), also a former professional boxer who once knocked down Sugar Ray Leonard but is now a struggling crack addict. Much of the beginning leaves Mickey in the shadows as Dicky is followed by HBO films, which is doing a movie on him. His mother and manager (Melissa Leo) and his numerous sisters all follow every step of Dicky’s but ignore the obvious signs of trouble.

For the first 40 minutes or so of the film, you really feel for Wahlberg, who nails the sympathetic and quiet Mickey (and should be getting more Oscar buzz than he is). On the contrary, Bale completely envelops himself in the role of Dickey, going from quirky and funny one minute to a train wreck and pathetic the next, which is one of the most dangerous moves the film makes but I’ll touch on that in a minute.

Mickey’s relationship with Charlene (Amy Adams) is one of the better cinematic examples in recent history. He first gets her number, and then blows her off after his first fight. Charlene is far from the quiet reserve princess but is very much a fighter herself. She acts as a major catalyst for Mickey’s professional changes in the movie and Adams really nails the role, bringing that gritty, tough bartending woman out.

Now, the major thing that worried me with this film was its tonal shifts. This movie is a lot funnier than you’d be led to believe, Wahlberg and Bale both bring their own comedy but as a natural feel from their characters so it never seems forced but rather more like a real family with real emotions. It takes out that Hollywood feel of them telling us that they are a family and rather showing us. And while this is a good thing normally, when it shifts from those moments to Dicky going through crack withdrawals, you can often lose the audience. It’s a major gamble to bring the darkest and lightest of a family dynamic into a film, but I’ve gotta hand it to director David O. Russell (Three Kings) for balancing them well.

The Fighter is probably one of the most re-watchable films this year, which scores major points with me. It’s a feel good story that in many ways works more like a documentary than a narrative. I really truly enjoyed the fact that the fight scenes were shot on gritty B cameras like HBO Boxing After Dark would do (a la Rocky Balboa). It keeps the story feeling gritty, not glamorous and clean like you would feel with Ali.

It’s one of the best films of the year, that’s for sure, and is certainly a must-see. It will be on my DVD shelf, which is a rarity for me to proclaim that this early, but it’s that good.

 

Rating: 5 out of 5

I'm right with Steve on this one. From the great supporting cast to realistic (these were choreographed?) fight scenes, The Fighter really took me by surprise. While I don't think it's a better boxing movie than, say, Rocky, I do think that it can hold its own against other heavy weights in the genre.

Wahlberg and Adams were great a great on-screen couple and you could really feel the chemistry between the two and the rest of the cast. Steve was right when he said that they all felt like one big family, which is essentially what the film is about.

Yes, this is a boxing film. Yes, this is an homage to the story of Mickey Ward. Yes, Bale's character struggles with drug addiction. Yes, Wahlberg has awesome abs. But after everything, this movie shows the struggles and bonds of a family, their hopes and dreams, successes and failures. When Ward won, the family won. When he lost...

I think the thing I was most impressed with in this flick was the acting of Christian Bale. I still haven't gotten around to Black Swan or True Grit, but I can't imagine those movies having a supporting character taking us to where Bale took us with Dicky Eklund. The former boxing star turned crack head, Bale was electric on screen- he was Eklund. From his cocky demeanor, his swagger, his exaggerated mannerisms- he completely transformed himself into another person. Steve was spot on when he said he can go from funny one minute (jumping out of crack house windows) to a complete train wreck the next (see: fake prostitution sting scene). If Bale doesn't get the Best Supporting Actor Oscar (if not for what was mentioned above, then for his breath-taking walking-down-the-street-holding-an-ice-cream-cake scene), I'll be shocked.

Rating: 5 out of 5

Black Swan

Reviewed by Steve Kochems

There’s no getting around the elephant in the room here. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a huge Natalie Portman fan, so I’m going to get right to it. This movie is incredibly sexual and it stars Natalie Portman. Two and two equal four. So yeah, it scored major points for me right off the bat. Mila Kunis didn’t hurt either. 

However I try to be professional, and I try to remain objective and take a film for what it’s worth, ignoring the external influences that might cloud my judgment that all of you, our readers, put so much stock into. I am going to do my best to do just that, hence why I’ve addressed what would be a glaring issue first in my approach to this film.

Ok, ready? Go.

Black Swan follows the growth of Nina (Portman), a young ballerina who seeks to be the featured dancer in a prominent show, Swan Lake, where she must embody both the pure and elegant white swan but also the passion-filled seducing black swan. Nina’s journey, as the title suggests, is about coming to understand what it means to be to be the black swan. But many things stand in her way- the growing doubts from her employer, Thomas Leroy (Vincent Cassel), growing pressure from her mother (Barbra Hershey) a former ballerina herself, and competition from other dancers, primarily the newly arrived and wildly salacious Lily (Kunis), whose friendship may have one or more hidden objectives.

What hits hardest about this film is how many layers it carries under the same plot threat. Nina begins to lose herself as she begins to try to transition from the white swan to the black, but beneath that is Nina making choices as she grows up, the decisions that determine what kind of person she chooses to be. This is evident with the sexual tones of the film, from Lily and Thomas’s advances on Nina to her most intimate moments alone with herself; she begins to lose control under the pressure of being in the spotlight.

I’ve not been the biggest fan of Darren Aronofsky, mainly because I think Requiem for a Dream was a giant bag of depressing, but I think he does a particularly good job here of utilizing the psychological elements in an otherwise grounded narrative. As Nina falls deeper and deeper into becoming the black swan, the lines of reality start to blur, but are well disguised enough so that it feels not as if the film is losing its direction but rather Nina is and we are all witness to it. That is quality filmmaking.

I can’t promise this will be a film for everyone; it’s violent and, as stated before, incredibly sexual. For an average movie-goer, this may seem like nothing more than a soft-core porno with a really messed up plot, but if you’re looking to see how deep a movie can be, more directly how deep one can go into a single character, this might just be the movie for you.

Rating: 5 out of 5

True Grit

Reviewed by Steve Kochems

IGN.com claims that this film was “the best Western since Unforgiven” (as if I needed anymore hype to see a Coen movie…). That’s a bold statement, to put a film on par with one as deeply rooted in a genre as Unforgiven, let alone the Western genre that is rich with history. But after seeing the new film by Joel and Ethan Coen, I’d be inclined to agree with IGN. Not only that, if Unforgiven is the last Western, as many have called it, then True Grit might just be the rebirth of the Western.

Unlike the 1969 John Wayne classic, the remake follows the journey of Mattie Ross (Hailee Steinfeld), a 14 year-old girl who seeks to avenge her father’s death by enlisting the help of the drunken gun-slinging U.S. Marshall, Rooster Cogburn (Jeff Bridges). Rather than making the focal point about Rooster as a fatherly figure to young Mattie, the Coen’s let the plot simmer and simply be a fun adventure. We see Mattie, Rooster, and Texas Ranger LaBoeuf (Matt Damon) grow on this journey together, from a general disliking each has for the other to eventually overcoming bandits and the rugged western terrain, all in pursuit of the murderous Tom Chaney (Josh Brolin).

This will not be a film for everyone, mainly people that despise Western’s, but for the traditional fan of John Ford and other classics this will be a sheer delight. Bridges completely owns the roll from the first moment you hear his voice as Rooster and Damon’s LaBoeuf completes a perfect dichotomy. Holding them together is Steinfeld, who really shines in the film as the persistent Mattie at the helm. She never shows the ravenous side of revenge, but stays calm and clear with her intentions from start to finish. This is the biggest reason why the True Grit stays grounded at a central tone, never venturing too dark, too virtuous, or too comedic. Watching this young girl overtake the man’s world is certainly a delight as she outwits almost every character at one point or another. But perhaps the biggest surprise is Brolin- as Chaney he takes you from smiles to chills in a very short span, though never venturing too far in one direction to shift the film off its base.

I was far from surprised as to how good this film was- I’ve come to expect nothing less from the Coen Brothers, even after my somewhat disappointed view on A Serious Man (okay, not disappointed, perplexed… review coming after a second viewing). What really stood out to me was how good of a Western it works as. The Coen’s have never been filmmakers that try to subscribe to any one genre for a film, but always blending them to tell the best story possible. In this case though, the genre has been deprived for some time of a real classic. I can’t say for sure that this will lead to the rebirth of the Western genre (though Jon Favreau’s Cowboys and Aliens looks promising), mostly because Hollywood has never seemed to follow the trends or success of the Coen’s. But if in ten years we are talking about Western’s like we are now about Superhero movies, you can cite me here as the first to claim it.

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Top 5: Christmas Comedies

by Steve Kochems

It'd be a lie if I said that I thought of this idea all on my own, but I'm gonna go with that anyhow. Mike did get me in the Christmas spirit with his top five animated Christmas movies, and tickled my childhood bone... wait... anyways it inspired me to do this list of top five Christmas comedies, or as it will soon be called "why Steve is cynical and hates Christmas." But if you really take this list into consideration, you'll see I'm as cheerful as old saint Nick.

(NOTE: I haven't seen Scrooged yet, yeah I know, so I've omitted it from this list intentionally.)

5.) A Christmas Story

Oh no! Boo! Steve, you're wrong! It's a classic! Best Christmas movie ever! Boo!
Wrong. TBS has played a Christmas story for a 24 period every year since I can remember. Doesn't anyone else find that annoying? I get to see it on TV once a year and it just plays over and over and over and over. It's too much, I can't take it. I hate that programming plan so much that it's actually ruined the movie for me entirely. I only included it on this list because as a kid, I really did have a love for this movie because of it's simplicity. It's a completely organic family dynamic for it's time period with almost no flabby exposition to try and get out. Everything feels just like you're at your cousin's house. Except now, your cousins have the same argument for 24 hours every year. It makes me wanna shoot my eye out.

4.) Home Alone

Now this would be number 5 if it wasn't for TBS. It's all the things that a 24 hour marathon haven't ruined, snappy dialogue and physical humor. Joe Pesci at his finest, well, close. It really is still a charming story for the whole family despite McCauley Culkin turning into a creepy real-life version of Powder. I would also consider Home Alone 2 into this mix because it does what most sequels can't, keep the characters and story fresh while maintaining the fun tone of the original.

3.) Elf

One of the best and most refreshing films of the traditional Christmas pattern in the last decade. Will Ferrell at his best here and he really shows that he can appeal to all demographics with his comedy. An early glimpse of the directorial skills of Jon Favreau can also be seen here, as the film moves along through the hilarious idiocy of Buddy the Elf while maintaining a higher purpose in the grand scheme of the film overall. It's good enough to watch year round, which isn't easy for a Christmas movie to do.

2.) Christmas Vacation

You wanna talk classics? You wanna talk tradition? You wanna talk, ah fuck it. When I think Christmas I think this movie. Chevy Chase as the pinnacle of fatherhood leads the way for this movie to be perhaps the greatest Christmas movie of all time. Any time I see Randy Quaid, whether it be in Independence Day or on the police blotter, I just think of him standing in the middle of a street on a snowy December morning with a septic hose because, well, shitters... they get full. It also marked the beginning for Chase as what many could consider the father of a generation of comedies, and not in the sense that he gave rise to a new form of comedy but rather anyone in their 20's or 30's right now thinks of a comedy that most resembles their father, it's probably Clark Griswald.

1.) Bad Santa

Here comes the cynicism. Besides the fact that this film has perfect casting, or that it is by far the most hilarious and abusive Christmas comedy ever, or that it has some of the best juxtapositions in cinematic history, combining cheery Christmas music and sets with a very drunk and very angry Billy Bob Thornton, this movie has the biggest character arc of any listed here. Willie goes from being an abusive drunk who porks women in the big and tall section to, well, a semi-drunk who cares more about kids and his lovely bartender and Santa-fetish'd girlfriend. It really shows how much good the Christmas spirit can do. I don't care what anyone says, every Christmas I'm sure to watch this at least twice and love every minute of it.

Got any favorites I missed? (Besides Scrooged, I know, I know) Let me know!

Top 5: Animated Christmas Films

by Mike Kamrowski

'Tis the season to sit inside and watch television... especially here in Buffalo where the snow is absurd. I'm probably high-balling here, but I'd say we got about three feet since this morning. So, what better way to pass the time than by watching Christmas cartoons!? ...with a few beers maybe.

There's been a lot of animated Xmas flicks over the years, so here are my Top 5- I'm sure some, if not all of these will show up on your favorites list as well.

5.) A Charlie Brown Christmas

Charlie Brown was a bit before my time (more than 20 years really...), but I still enjoy this holiday classic and can't help but watch it when it inevitably comes on TV each December. Written by Charlie Brown/Peanuts creator Charles Schulz, the story follows the Peanuts gang during the Christmas season. Charlie Brown is worrying (of course, right? what is it with this kid!?) that Christmas has become too commercial and no one knows the true meaning of the holiday. Stupid Lucy suggests Charlie take over the annual Christmas pageant, which will this year touch on the Nativity, but nothing really goes to plan as everyone just wants to dance or whatever the hell it is that the Peanuts characters love to do. Linus saves the day by reading from the Gospel of Luke and telling everyone what Christmas is really about- the birth of Jesus. This is also the only movie on this list to be sponsored by Coca-Cola, win an Emmy and Peabody Award, and feature a human-like dog that wins a Christmas decorating contest.

4.) Frosty the Snowman

Who wouldn't love a giant talking snowman come to life via a magical hat? Now that I think about it, that sounds pretty horrifying, but this animated short from way back in 1969 (ha-ha) has been a holiday staple for over 40 years. Here, we follow a giant, man-eating snowman that comes to life and terrorizes a small town and its inhabitants... what? That's not how it goes? It's actually an adaptation of the famous song of the same title about a snowman named Frosty that is really nice and is loved by one and all? Interesting...

The story follows a young girl named Karen who finds a magical top hat discarded by the half-ass magacian Professor Hinkle. When Hinkle realizes his hat has turned a snowman into a living thing, he tries to steal it back. The snowman, Frosty, and Karen try and escape to the North Pole due to the increasing temperature. In case you didn't know, snowmen are not a fan of the beach. Along their trip, Hinkle is constantly trying to get the hat back, until finally Santa shows up and saves the day (as usual). The moral of the story? Never throw out a good hat.

3.) The Nightmare Before Christmas

Admit it right now: you absolutely love this film. Tim Burton's 1993 (Wow, it's really that old?) stop motion masterpiece is a combination of horror, fantasy, family, holiday, comedy... the list goes on. Despite the genre blend, The Nightmare Before Christmas is one of those flicks that comes along and is instantly a classic. The story follows Jack Skellington (The Pumpkin King) and the citizens of "Halloween Town" as they prepare for their annual Halloween bash. But Jack is bored with the same old routine and, after a sobering trek through the woods, discovers a door leading to "Christmas Town". Jack decides to take over Christmas for Santa and... well, things don't go as planned. Some might argue that this is strictly a Halloween film, and for those people I say, "why do we only need to watch this awesome movie in October?"

Also, Oogie Boogie is epic.

2.) Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer 

Another stop-animation classic, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer has given us some of our favorite holiday characters (besides Santa and Frosty, of course). The story follows Rudolph, a reindeer with a red glowing nose. He tries to hide his nose, but his condition is soon discovered and he runs away to the forest. It is here that he meets up with Hermes, an elf who wants to become a dentist (what the hell? Of all the professions to give a character...) instead of making toys. They have an adventure, meeting a reindeer-eating monster (the Abominable Snowman), a gold obsessed prospector named Yukon Cornelius, venture to the Island of Misfit Toys. Everything eventually turns out for the better, Rudolph is accepted after he guides Santa's sleigh on a particularly snowy Christmas, and Hermes opens up a dentist office. What a weird ending to a movie, right?

Fun fact: Romeo Muller wrote both this television short AND Frosty the Snowman- the man was good at holiday stories. He also co-wrote the 1977 made-for-TV short The Hobbit based on the story of the same name by J.R.R. Tolkien.

1.) How the Grinch Stole Chistmas!

I'm not talking about the live action/Jim Carrey creep-show from 2000. We're dealing with the old-school, animated version of Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas here, and it is awesome. Boris Karloff lends his smooth, baritone voice as both the narrator and the dastardly Grinch himself. This is the tale of a mountain-dwelling creature who is so hell-bent on destroying happiness that he literally steals Christmas from his neighboring town, Whoville. With the reluctant help of his dog, Max, the Grinch forms a plan to descend on Whoville, dressed as Santa, and steal all the holiday spirit with a makeshift sleigh and several impossible vacuum hoses - from presents, to Christmas trees to decorations, he took everything from those poor Who's... even the roast beast! While this would give a normal person 25-to-life, the Grinch learned his lesson and returned everything after he saw that no matter what he did, he couldn't break the Who's spirit. If this film doesn't warm your heart, you're a Communist, and that's why it's No. 1 for me.

Cop Out

Reviewed by Mike

There's things you don't know about me, Jim, I'll fuck a little kid up if he kick me in the dick! -Tracy Morgan

In a year of buddy-comedy movies (Dinner for Schmucks, The Other Guys, Hot Tub Time Machine, MacGruber, Get Him to the Greek...), there was one that I was really caught my attention- Cop Out. Actually, fuck that, I was pumped for this movie.

Tracy Morgan and Bruce Willis are N.Y.P.D. detectives who get into crazy situations full of hilarious antics!? That formula might possibly be the best for any comedy movie ever... unfortunately, the end result fell short of my expectations- way short.

The story follows Jimmy Monroe (Willis), a divorcee and down-on-his-luck veteran cop who's trying to stay on the force and front the bill for his daughters up-coming wedding. His partner, Paul Hodges (Morgan), brings the funny to the partnership via hilarious reactions and one-liners. The two get into various funny situations, from a not so by-the-book interrogation by Hodges (I got the death sentence on 12 systems!), to the way Jimmy deals with his ex-wife's new boyfriend (Jason Lee)- there are a lot of funny bits in this movie, with Hodges being the centerpiece for most of them.

Unfortunately, after a drug bust goes bad for the two cops, they get suspended and have to find a new, not so legal way to catch the bad guys... and make some money on the side. Jimmy decides to part ways with a classic (and expensive) baseball he got from his father in order to pay for his daughter Ava's (Michelle Trachtenberg) wedding. Unfortunately, when he goes to sell the card, the store is robbed by a couple of small-time crooks, one of which is a loud mouth parkour expert (Sean William Scott). The rest of the flick is full of Mexican drug dealers, unorthodox police tactics (they handcuff William Scott to the police cruiser and drag him through an abandoned lot until he agrees to help them out) and great one-liners from Morgan.

It's enjoyable to watch Willis play the hard-ass cop we all know and love (Die Hard series) and get some comic relief from the goofy stunts and random lines Morgan is constantly pulling out of seemingly no where. Sean William Scott adds additional comic relief, constantly egging Morgan on which results in some pretty funny banter.

I had really high expectations for this movie, and while I did enjoy it, for some reason I just wasn't satisfied. I think Willis' character came off as too soft in some respects and the writers (Robb and Mark Cullen) attempted to go too in depth with each character- Morgan's character spent a lot of the film worrying about his (possibly) unfaithful wife, when they should have just let him go crazy and do whatever the hell he wanted. Willis showed that he can be funny, but I think it would be best if he stuck to his usual action genre of film (although, I heard he was magic in Red).

At the end though, Cop Out was funny for one reason: Tracy Morgan. Not because Kevin Smith directed it, not because Bruce Willis played the cliche hard-ass cop with the heart of gold, not because of any other actors or any of the physical humor or sight gags- it was funny because of Tracy Morgan. The man is comedy gold; from Saturday Night Live to 30 Rock, he's great in no matter what he does. Additional case in point, the movie Totally Awesome. Probably one of the worst movies of all time, Morgan took his role as stereotypical "black guy" Darnell and made it one of the funniest characters in his repertoire.


(if you can watch this and not laugh your ass off, you have no sense of humor)

Flat out, I liked this film but I thought it could have been better (that is to say, funnier). While I haven't heard anything about a sequel in the works, I'm really hoping for one because I feel like this movie deserves another chance. The cast was good, the direction was good and the writing was good, but what we're dealing with here is a comedy that could have had... more comedy.

3 out of 5

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

by Steve Kochems

Normally I like to do a lead in, something witty or interesting that leads into my overall opinion of the film. I'll even occasionally do a synopsis somewhere in here as well. But, fuck me. There's no nice way to put this, but I cannot believe how bad this remake is. Robert Englund is probably laughing his ass off at how bad this is.

I don't even know where to start. I guess I'll start with the good. The effects.

Ok now to the bad. I wonder how many people read through this script without mentioning or suggesting for a dialogue rewrite. Then again, I can't really tell which is worse, the writing or the actors. Even Jackie Earl Haley's lines are bad, its like a forced muffling that is clearly done in post-production. It might be the most disappointing part of the movie since there was such a demonic charm to how Robert Englund delivered his lines. He was the perfect blend of funny and terrifying, which is what made those films so enjoyable each time I'd watch it. Instead we get this MTV produced garbage. I'm surprised Megan Fox wasn't cast as Nancy.


So the plot basically follows along the same as the original, except with less control. We start the film with a gruesome throat slitting. Now, this would've been really interesting to open up with but it's completely ruined by having cuts to Freddie (just in case anyone forgot what the movie was about). The idea of a teen (by the way, the kid looks like he's at least thirty) cutting his own throat in front of his friend is pretty terrifying, especially when it seems like there might be someone else doing it, like a possession or something. But since we see Freddie, it complete dissolves the uniqueness of the scene. It's just another slasher moment that is overly violent for the sake of the 21st century audience that can't get enough blood on screen. Makes me wanna vomit.

Though I should mention that after about the midpoint, the dreams do get more physically violent rather than some of the outrageous murders that we saw in the sequels, and while this sort of brings the movie to a more down-to-earth form, I still can't make it through the terrible writing and worse acting. In fact, in a matter of two minutes the film steals five lines from Freddy vs. Jason and even the final decapitation. You're pretty sparse for ideas when you're lifting from that movie.

I think what bothers me most is the fact that they basically lift the same murder scenes from the original film. Now I don't think I'd consider this lazy but it's just hollow because the rest of the film is so flat. In the original, nobody is killed for the first twenty minutes. We follow Nancy and friends through trying to understand these nightmares they are having. It helps build tension; the remake shifts around a lot. We meet Nancy at the start, but mostly follow Kris up until she's murdered. Then we move to Nancy. And to Jesse. And to Quintin. And back to Nancy.

I guess I shouldn't just complain- there are some decent things to say about the effects. When Nancy is looking up information on Freddie, she finds a web video of an Asian kid who seems to be having the same dreams. The drug store scene is also pretty creative, though we start to blur the lines of what Freddie's real powers are. Somehow a kid falls asleep in a pool... A girl while she's walking... Two characters simultaneously hear Freddie's laugh while they are both awake and walking through a field... Two characters have gone all Inception on us and entered into the same dream... The list goes on, so I'll just stop here.

I think it just all adds up to this remake being done for the sake of nostalgia and no other ideas in Hollywood. New Line Cinema is called "the house that Freddie built" so I'm sure they figured any movie about Freddie Krueger would make money. And while I would agree that a movie further exploring the back story of Freddie would be worth making, the fact that they handled it so carelessly is almost insulting, especially when we're getting quality remakes of other classics from that period like Rob Zombie's Halloween and the new Friday the 13th. They have multiple opportunities to bring a contemporary feel to his character, but instead only feed my nostalgia for the old movie.

In watching this I did come up with a way to make this film great. Shut off the audio and just watch the visuals, like a silent film. Only turn it on when Nancy is crawling through a hallway swamp of blood so you can here Freddie utter the only worthwhile line in the film.

How about that for a wet dream?

Rating:
1 out of 5 stars

Due Date

Reviewed by Mike

Robert Downey, Jr. and Zach Galifianakis star in this buddy comedy about two guys traveling, road trip style, from the East Coast to Los Angeles. The story follows dad-to-be Peter Highman (Downey, Jr.) and wannabe "actor" Ethan Tremblay (Galifianakis) as they try and get from Atlanta to LA before the birth of Highman's child, a very small time frame of about three days.

Directed by Todd Phillips (The Hangover, Starsky & Hutch, Old School, Road Trip), this comedy is high on the moronic and low on everything else... but we'll get into that in just a minute.

Peter and Ethan cross paths at an airport- they end up switching bags and Peter gets busted with Ethan's smoking piece (and not for smoking tobacco). They end up sitting near each other on the airplane and, due to the free spirit that Ethan is and the high-strung neurotic that is Peter (weird, Robert Downey, Jr. plays a high-strung neurotic), they butt heads, get kicked off the airplane due to using words like "bomb" and "terrorism" and they each get slapped with a "no fly" charge.

Long story short, Peter needs to get to his pregnant wife, Sarah (Michelle Monaghan), in LA who is expecting to deliver her baby at the end of the week, and he has to ride with Ethan because he has no money due to a lost wallet. He has about three days to travel, via car with the guy who got him kicked off the airplane and thrown on the "no fly" list, from Atlanta to LA. Oh the adventures they're just going to get into!

Things obviously go wrong (cars gets destroyed, Peter's patience are tested), with the two butting heads throughout the road trip. Ethan, who recently lost his father, is carrying around his old man's ashes in a coffee can and it only gets weirder from there.

Due Date also has a pretty decent supporting cast. Jamie Foxx plays Peter's famous athlete friend Darryl, who Peter thinks may be having an affair with his wife. Juliette Lewis plays a drug dealer who hooks up Ethan with his glaucoma medicine; Todd Phillips steps in as her perm-hating boyfriend. Danny McBride plays a war veteran/Western Union representative who beats Downey, Jr's ass and RZA plays an airport screener who finds the pipe in Peter's luggage.

There's a lot of physical humor in this movie, almost entirely on Galifianakis' part, although there is a pretty funny scene where the two, who are both extremely high, get busted at the Mexican border. After some ridiculous antics, Ethan frees Peter from the Mexican border patrol via a high speed car chase, with Ethan driving a truck and Peter in a trailer attached to the hitch.

Peter and Ethan become friends at the end (obviously) and Ethan, who is obsessed with Two and a Half Men, ends up getting a few appearances on the show.

The best part of this film, and for me there really weren't many "best parts", was the acting of Downey, Jr. He can take a role like this one and act the hell out of it- it was impressive. Other than that, there were a few parts that made me chuckle... but not much.

The most frustrating thing about this movie was the acting of Galifianakis. I understand, he's supposed to play his typical role of the lovable moron, and that is expected for this film. But this... this was just bad. It was Alan from The Hangover meets Therman from Dinner for Schmucks, except an effeminate, wannabe actor who loves to smoke weed. SO FUNNY! It got to be really annoying after the first 20 minutes or so.

I think the main reason that I was so disappointed was because I really had high hopes for it. Robert Downey, Jr. and Zach Galifianakis are both great actors (or entertaining actors, at least), so when I first saw the trailers for this movie, I thought, "Oh, shit... this is gonna be awesome." Turns out, my initial reaction wasn't even close to how I felt at the end of the movie.

On the contrary, when I watched Grown Ups, I didn't really see any previews or hear much about it (except that it got pretty poor reviews), so my expectations were very low; the movie turned out to be hilarious and I'm really happy I watched it.

This wasn't a horrible movie, but it isn't one I would want to see a sequel of. Or to see again for that matter.

2 out of 5

Starship Troopers

Reviewed by Mike

Starship Troopers is one of those rare science-fiction/alien/war movies that really delivers. "Delivers on what?", you might be asking yourself... well that's why we're here- to explain why this movie is fucking awesome.

Let me start off by saying, I love this movie. I've loved it ever since it came out in 1997 and I'll love it until I'm dead. I could be doing anything, literally anything, and I would stop to watch this film. Megan Fox could be giving me a foot job and I would make her stop to watch this movie that I've seen 1,000 times before, it's that awesome. Here's why:

Number one: it's about giant alien bugs who want to destroy Earth for some unexplained reason. These bugs are God damn viscous and look mean as hell. They kill humans just to do it- I mean, they can't even leave their planet and they're starting shit with us. That takes some chutzpah and they get a few respect points from me for that.

Number two: Casper Van Dien and Denise Richards are hot. CVD, while his career didn't really do much after this movie (eh, I guess I can sort of see why), is awesome. Chiseled jaw and boy-like features, mixed with a cockiness and shoot-first-ask-questions-fucking-never attitude make him fun to watch, while Denise Richards is just plain sexy. And I'm talking young Denise Richards here, waaaay before the whole Charlie Sheen/TV show on E! Denise Richards. She's looking fine as hell, except for her eyebrows... gross.

Number three: the guns are awesome. These aren't you average, run of the mill machine guns and sniper rifles- these bitches do serious damage. These soldiers have futuristic grenades and they all carry around RPG launchers, except instead of normal explosives, these launch nukes. The giant spaceships show the vastness and power of the Federation and are pretty kick-ass and futuristic in themselves.

Number four: Neil Patrick Harris. That is all. NPH is a God.

Number five: Boobs. There are a lot of nude scenes in this movie, which I don't have a problem with at all. I think the director, Paul Verhoeven, found out he was allowed to show tits in this flick and decided to adopt the mentality of go big or go home.

I don't want to get into the movie too much, but a general synopsis is probably in order, so if you've never seen this flick (doubtful), skip to the end.

The story follows Johnny Rico (Van Dien), the typical high school jock/pretty boy/hero type, his girlfriend Carmen Ibanez (Richards), their genius friend Carl Jenkins (NPH) and Rico obsessed hottie Dizzy Flores (Dina Meyer) during their last days of high school and their integration into the Federation (the modern day Earth military). NPH becomes a scientist, Ibanez a pilot, and Rico (who joined solely for Ibanez) and Dizzy are your average soldiers, so they all get separated during their original recruitment, but keep meeting up with each other throughout the film.

The main enemy in this movie is a race of giant alien Bugs that are hell bent on destroying everything. They have no weaponry or technology, but their planet is surrounded by an asteroid belt and some of the bugs have the ability to shoot giant plasma-balls out of their ass (ha-ha, awesome sentence), thus hitting an asteroid and sending it hurling at Earth. Not good.

So Rico is tearing shit up a boot camp and impressing his drill Sargent, Sgt. Zim (Clancy Brown). Rico gets promoted to Squad Leader and things are going good, until one day he accidentally gets one of his guys killed in a training exercise. He's just about to take off and say "to hell with this military shit" when all of a sudden his hometown (Buenos Aires, which I always thought looked a lot like southern California in Starship Troopers) gets destroyed.

Oh. Fuck.

Dizzy is pissed and Rico is pissed and one of Rico's military buddies, Ace Levy (Jake Busey, and yes, he is the son of Gary Busey... and Lord can you tell), is pissed and shit's about to get crazy! Rico's squad gets sent in during the first wave of attacks against the Bug planet, where he almost gets his shit ruined, but then he gets saved and thrown into a giant vat of water, Empire Strikes Back style, to make him all better. Meanwhile, Ibanez broke up with him (Denise Richards is one big cock tease in this movie... bitch) and Dizzy is trying to swoop in and steal Rico for herself.

Enter the metal armed badass that is Jean Rasczak (Michael Ironside). One of Rico's old high school teachers and the guy that got him interested in joining the Federation in the first place, Rasczak has one rule: "Everyone fights, no one quits. If you run away, I'll kill you myself." I guess that's really more like three rules, but whatever- he's awesome. He also delivered a few more gems in this flick:

"Come on, you apes! Do you wanna live forever?," to "It sucked his brains out." My personal favorite is after a Sargent gets swooped up by a flying Bug and brought on top of a cliff to be eaten (maybe? is that what the Bugs do, eat the soldiers?), he grabs a sniper rifle and shoots the captured soldier in the chest, responding with, "I'd expect any of you to do the same for me." What a badass.

So Rico and his crew join up with the metal armed wonder and his squad, known as the Roughnecks. The new unit gets sent in on a rescue mission- apparently a base was sending out a distress call and stuff needs to be investigated. But when they arrive on the scene, everyone is dead.

It's a trap! This scene, where the Roughnecks are trapped at the outpost, waiting and waiting for their rescue ship to arrive, is epic. The small fort they're trying to hold down just gets surrounded by thousands of the enemy Bugs and the Roughnecks are just laying waste to all of them. Unfortunately, our boy Rasczak gets killed and so does Dizzy, but Ibanez shows up in a ship and rescues everyone else in the nick of time. Yay!

The movie continues and there's a giant Brain Bug that looks like a huge brain with eight eyes and a giant vagina for a nose- gross. The Brain Bug gets captured and the good guys win and Rico probably gets laid or something, who knows?

All of that being said, the main problem that I've always had with the film is also the movies biggest plot hole. The Federation, which is basically the combined military of the Earth, is gigantic. They have space stations, moon bases, the latest in the way of ships, guns and equipment... yet they still need foot-soldiers. After Rico's hometown is destroyed, Rico and company get sent in for a ground-war against the Bugs.

Re-read that last sentence: Rico and company get SENT IN FOR A FUCKING GROUND-WAR against GIGANTIC, VIOLENT ALIEN BUGS. This is the same "Rico and company" that have FUCKING NUKES that they can SHOOT AS RPGS! WHAT!!?

Someone please explain to me why a planet full of giant insects, who have no way of leaving said planet whatsoever, needs to be invaded by machine gun toting foot soldiers while there are plenty of nukes just laying around... why not nuke the entire planet from space and save the countless lives (something like 300k) that were lost in the first day of battle?

I don't know what asshole thought up this battle plan, but here's how mine would have gone: "Ok guys, the enemy is a race of giant bugs with no known technology or weaponry... station all ships in orbit of the planet and hit it with nukes until it's gone. Now, let's go to the strip club buffet, I got money to burn."

That major plot hole aside, this is a great movie and I hope they make another one... what's that? They made TWO MORE movies and a video game? And they were all terrible? Well that sure is a shame...

4 out of 5

Grown Ups

Reviewed by Mike

I finally got around to watching the latest flick from funny-man Adam Sandler and, honestly, I was pleasantly surprised. Out of the three comedy films I've seen in the past week (Cop Out and Due Date reviews to be added in the next day or so), this was by far the funniest and most enjoyable of the bunch.

Grown Ups is a film about a group of five friends who have, well, grown up. Sandler is the star, playing comedic Hollywood agent Lenny Feder. The rest of the main cast is made up by Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade and Rob Schenider- all ex-Saturday Night Live co-stars of Sandlers, except James. The five-some, childhood pals who have since grown apart, are brought together once again by the death of their beloved high school (Maybe? The flash backs seem like they were all 10 years-old so I'm not totally sure...) basketball coach.

The five guys, along with their wives/girlfriends and children all reunite after the funeral for a Fourth of July weekend at their old stomping grounds- a lake house in New England. Here we see that the characters are all struggling with their marriages, jobs, relationships and children, all in different ways and all while trying to rekindle some old friendships- the latter is the easy part. The weekend of bonding, however, is just what the doctor ordered- it brings everyone together for the better and they each resolve their issues... except for Spade, who plays a 40 year-old bachelor who loves to booze and have one-night stands (this role must have been written for him, he played it perfectly).

So Spade's character is a party animal, but what about everyone else? I'm sure you could guess, but I'll give a bit of a description of each in case you haven't seen the movie yet.

Sandler plays a rich Hollywood agent/funnyman who yearns for his spoiled kids and wife to be more down to Earth and appreciative- he is also the hero who won the big basketball game when the five main characters were younger. Rock is a stay-at-home dad who has to deal with a disrespectful mother-in-law, two kids and a pregnant bread-winner wife. Schneider is a Vegan practicing, thrice-divorcee who has a thing for spirituality and older women- his three daughters (2 of which are smoking hot, the other is hilariously ugly) are around for some comedic relief and some eye-candy (for both the cast and audience). James is the lovable oaf with a gorgeous wife and two children, including a 4 year-old that is still breastfed...


Sandler, who wrote and produced this film, also got a pretty decent cast for the rest of the characters: Salma Hayek takes on the role of Sandlers fashionista wife. Ex-SNLers Colin Quinn, Tim Meadows and Mya Rudolph lend a hand for other bit characters and Steve Buscemi comes out of fucking nowhere to play a hilarious role as one of Sandlers old enemies from grade school.

There were a lot of funny parts to this film: funny bits, one-liners, physical humor and random goofy gags, but I think the best part came at the end. Sandler and his crew are challenged to a re-match basketball game by the guys who they beat in the championship game as kids. Tim Meadow is on the losing team and Chris Rock is with Sandler and company- the two get into an argument on the court about which guy is the "other" black guy in town and which is the alpha black guy. They discuss what reactions white people give them when they walk into a store... hilarity ensues.

In the end, the film is really about nostalgia, the bringing together of old friends and the bond of family. It's a feel good movie, a family movie and a pretty decent comedy on top of it all. It's nice to see many of my favorite ex-SNLer together once again, doing what they love and the chemistry they all have with one another. It must have been a great time for these guys to film this movie- I certainly had a fun time watching it.

3.5 out of 5

Leslie Nielsen (1926-2010)

The first comedy movie I ever remember watching was Airplane!. I was eight and my old man sat me down and said, "We're going to watch this movie; it's funny." I didn't know how true of a statement that was then- I mean, I was young and what eight year-old kid is going to understand the humor in Airplane!, you know? I watched it again a decade later and it's now one of my favorite movies.

Leslie Nielsen was a great actor, with a resume spanning more than 60 years- his career will even go beyond his death; he has a project coming out in 2011 in which he voices a character for an animated flick. He was the star of some of my favorite comedy films, from the Naked Gun series to Dracula: Dead and Loving It, from 2001: A Space Travesty to one of my all-time favorites, Spy Hard. He was great in Creepshow, a movie with a series of different shorts based on Stephen King stories. One of the first pair of boobs I ever remember seeing in a movie was in Repossessed, and it truly makes me sad that we'll never have another film like Wrongfully Accused...

He was also a television actor known for roles on The Golden Girls, Who's the Boss?, Fantasy Island, Columbo, Kung Fu, Hawaii Five-O and Murder, She Wrote. The interesting thing about Nielsen's career was that it never seemed to taper off. Right up until his death he was still doing what he loved (although certainly not the most mainstream movies... Scary Movie 3... yuck).

One of the tings about Nielsen that I always found a bit bizarre was the he was originally a dramatic actor, which you can see in his first films like The Vagabond King and Forbidden Planet, as well as his early television career- the man's first TV appearance was with Charlton Heston on the program Studio One. I always knew the man as a comedy actor, so it's pretty impressive (in my opinion, at least) that he started off in drama. 

I think I loved and respected Nielsen so much because I saw so many of his films growing up... a lot of the movies I mentioned above came out during my childhood/young adult stage in life, so I associate those movies with my youth. He's a major reason I and so many other people love comedy films and saying he will be missed is an understatement.

I don't get sad at many celebrity deaths, but this one is rough... Nielsen's November 28, 2010 death was caused by complications from pneumonia- he was 84.

Kamo-Kochems Awards Categories/Nominations

Best Popcorn Flick
For this category, you’ve gotten take in what film was the most worth seeing in theaters. The majority of the movies we see each year are in the confines of our own home/bathroom while we’re doing homework/relaxing/sleeping/fucking/shitting (you get the idea), but which movie this year was the best to see on the big screen?

Now, we will take into account some films that either Mike or myself did not see in theatres, but based on the quality of the film we should be able to gauge how much more enjoyable it would’ve been in a theatre. For example, I watched Avatar a few months ago, first time since it was in theatres. My grade for the film would drop from a 4 to a 3, maybe even 2.5, since much of the positives I saw in it were the 3D, the sound, and just how awe-inspiring it was in a theatre. At home on my shitty laptop with a bottle of whiskey next to me and Mario Kart 64 in the other room, it just wasn’t so hot.

So what movie this year really blew you away? Off the top of my head, I know I’ll be considering Iron Man 2, RED, Inception, and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. These were some of the most fun movies I saw in theatres this year. I may also include Prince of Persia and Kick-Ass, two films I saw, but on DVD. If I get urged enough, whether by our loyal followers or some other phenomena (and yes, I consider us having followers a phenomena), I’d think that The Losers, The A-Team, A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010), Robin Hood, Get Him to the Greek, Knight and Day, The Expendables, Salt, Machete, Buried, Jackass 3D, Paranormal Activity 2, Skyline, and Unstoppable are all potential contenders. In rereading that list, I think Knight and Day and The Expendables are the two I’ll almost certainly see for this category.

If you think I’ve missed any, please feel free to add and suggest!

Biggest Disappointment
While I was very tempted to do worst movie, I think it’s even more insulting to say what film disappointed me most this year. This means that Valentine’s Day (yeah… I saw it) isn’t a shoe in because I didn’t expect anything out of the movie other than two hours of garbage (and for the record it actually was better than I thought, which is saying that my piss tastes better than I thought, I still wanna vomit afterward). This would also exclude any Twilight films, had I seen them, since I don’t have any respect for them anyways.

I think any movie in this category required me to have some enthusiasm about seeing it, even if it’s just a glimmer of hope. I thought Prince of Persia was going to be the next Pirates of the Caribbean, but Jerry Bruckheimer really fucked me over there. However, I don’t feel like it was all that bad of a movie either. So it’s a balance of anticipation and nausea for the final project. Cop Out is another movie I’m going to consider.

Going through the list of movies I saw this year actually just made nauseous as to how many of them were
really bad. Here’s what I’ll be considering for this category. If you disagree feel free to plead your case, whether it be against me thinking the film is bad or against me thinking it could’ve been good. Cop Out, Alice in Wonderland, The Bounty Hunter, Clash of the Titans, Date Night, Prince of Persia, and Dinner for Schmucks.

Here are some films I haven’t seen but might force myself to view, as a duty to this category and the beloved blog you follow: The Wolfman, The Crazies (Fuck you, Steve, this movie was great! ...sort of), Death at a Funeral, MacGruber, Jonah Hex, Grown Ups, The Last Airbender, I’m Still Here (This could never disappoint me, Steve. Joaquin Phoenix rapping? Solid GOLD), Devil, Hereafter, Little Fockers, Tron: Legacy.

I’m getting sick already thinking about these films. If you’ve got any you think belong on this list feel free to suggest them! 

Best Film to Watch Under the Influence
When Steve came to me with the idea of an awards show/post and asked me to think of two categories, my immediate idea was, "What movie did I watch this year while I was super drunk/high and LOVED?" This category can be tricky, because seeing a movie sober is very different from seeing a movie NOT sober (Alice in Wonderland is a perfect example). Also, this could include just about any movie... I'm sure if I was stoned, Dinner for Schmucks would have been incredible (maybe no.t, it was pretty bad). Well anyhow, I present to you the best films of 2010 to watch under the influence of [insert booze/drug of choice here]:

Inception (You KNOW it was better if you were high), Get Him to the Greek, Shutter Island, Alice in Wonderland (Oh God, it was amazing...), Jackass 3D (I pissed myself and threw up, and NOT from the booze), Saw 3D, Megamind, True Grit (This film was meant to be seen with a belly full of whiskey, and you know it), Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Toy Story 3, Iron Man 2 (I fell asleep in the theater due to too much beer), The Book of Eli, Hot Tub Time Machine (Oh God, so funny) and that about does it, unless you guys have any other suggestions?

Best Comedy
I prefer comedy movies over any other genre, so this was an obvious choice for me. I go to the movies to be entertained and nothing entertains me more than seeing a guy get kicked in the balls by a donkey (Thank you, Jackass 3D). That being said, there really weren't too many good comedies out this year. I could be clever and add Devil and say it was so bad it was funny, but I'm going to stick to films that were intended to be funny in the first place... here's the list!

Get Him to the Greek (This is the one new film I've see this year that I can remember not being able to breathe because I was laughing so hard), It's Kind of a Funny Story, Jackass 3D, Toy Story 3, Grown Ups, Cop Out, She's Out of My League, Hot Tub Time Machine, Date Night, Death at a Funeral and MacGruber.

Right off the bat, my top 3 are Get Him to the Greek, Hot Tub Time Machine and Jackass 3D (in that order). If I forgot any, let me know in the comments section.

Best Film of the Year
I don't think we need to really go in depth on the explanation with this one... or maybe we do. This is the film that is judged to be the best released in 2010 in terms of story, plot, entertainment and anything else Steve thinks of that I didn't touch on.

Lesser Awards
Steve and I (mostly Steve) thought up of a few awards that, while not as serious, should probably be addressed in our consideration for films of 2010. First up, the Steven Seagal Award for Best Fight Scene in a movie. We also have the Shoulda-Seen-It Award for the movie that Steve and I wish we would have seen, but unfortunately didn't get a chance to. The Dolph Lundgren Award, while similar to the Steven Seagal Award, judges the Best Action Film. Other categories might be added (I want to throw Worst Steve Carrell Movie out there) but the categories mentioned today is what we'll be judging as of right now.

Let us know if we should add anything in the comments section!

Awards Announcement

Hey Kids,

It's that time of year again... well, for the first time. We're having the soon to be titled annual Kochems-Kamo Film Awards. And trust me, it'll be prestigious...

This year will consist of five categories and the breakdown is mentioned below. Each category will have five films nominated for it, which we'll post up in the next few days as well as a list of most of the films of 2010. If we've missed any that you think we should consider, by all means let us know.

While the categories will be posted within the next week or so, the official nominations can't be posted until December 26th since there is at least one film that will not be released until that late in the year that both Mike and I have high hopes for. However, we will be speculating and looking forward to input and opinions on the categories and their speculated nominees. Once we've released the official list of nominations for each category, they won't be changed so get your opinions in early (starting here?).

The categories this year aren't yet decided, but we have a lay out prepared for them. Mike and I will both select two categories that we feel best represent our overall reception of the films of this year. We both will get to each nominate three films for our own category and an additional nomination will be from whomever has not created the category. A fifth nomination will also be chosen by our loyal readers. This will let us get a broader opinion on each category. Both Mike and I will be watch the two other nominees suggested, then collaborate on those four categories.

Best Film will be much more difficult, however. Mike and I will both nominate two films and then take an additional one from you, the people. Then, we will have six votes taken on what should win. Two voters will obviously be Mike and I. The other four will include two from reputable and respected viewers of film, whether it be writers or critics or other bloggers, and the other two will be chosen at random from the general public. This will help get a critical eye as well as a common man's decision on what should win best film. It will probably also make Mike and I irate if either of our films end up losing, but that's the game.

Let us know your thoughts and if you have any suggestions to go with this idea!

Red

By Steve Kochems

In a year of lackluster films (see Alice in Wonderland, Clash of the Titans, Killers, The Bounty Hunter, the list goes on…), the fall has seemed to shape up quite nicely. 

Due to poor funding for our blog (donate!), I have been unable to see The Social Network, which has been deemed a surefire hit, even lesser films have seemed to impress with the leaves changing (Jackass 3D, The Town). However, I would be hard pressed to think that anything left to come this year (save for the Coen’s True Grit) will exceed the level of satisfaction almost any movie-goer can get out of Red.

Most anyone will notice just by seeing the trailer or cast list that Red had little room to fail. Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, and Helen Mirren don’t even require previous film credits next to their names. And to boot, Karl Urban (LOTR: The Two Towers, Return of the King) might be the strongest actor in the film. The plot revolves around Frank Moses (Willis), a retired CIA agent who gets a visit from a hit squad. This awakes Frank from the drudgery of the golden years and draws him back into the game. He drags along a lady who he hardly knows, Sarah (Mary-Louise Parker), and subjects her to much of the confinements traveling with an assassin would entail- handcuffing, zip ties, the usual. It’s not long after that we see that a young ambitious agent, William Cooper (Urban), is tasked with tracking down Frank.

Frank decides he must uncover why someone would put a hit on him, beyond the obvious. Along this journey he seeks out old friends and foes. Red brings together one of the best ensembles in recent history, and even rivals the casts of Old School and Oceans 11 with their star power. The nova of this cast is probably Malkovich, who plays a LSD induced agent that provides some of the more lucrative but hilarious moments in the film. It’s also worth mentioning the convenient role of Brian Cox, who plays an old Russian operative that is just a step behind Urban and Malkovich, which is still a huge complement. 

But I shouldn’t let Willis get lost in the mix, his role as Moses is possibly his best since Die Hard and works as a personal statement to the action film industry, saying that the old action buff’s like Willis aren’t completely lost in the mix of our Skin Diesel’s and Taylor Vampires of today’s youthful action flicks (or as I call them, pieces of shit). To me, this film acts as a statement that old heroes like Willis and Freeman and Malkovich aren’t obsolete but still very viable options to make a quality action film. It also seems a bit like passing the torch from Willis to Urban, which I’m certainly okay with given his performance in this film.

If I wanted to nitpick with this film, I would. And I certainly could, the ending leaves a few questions unanswered and goes for a cliché instead. It also rushes the relationship between Frank and Sarah quite a bit and softens the cold reality of his life, but this comes at the cost of the intense action blended with great comedy so I don’t really miss it. Overall, that’s about all I could complain about and it’s up against so much more positive that I think this film is already in the running for my favorite movie of the year. It’s certainly a must-see and will definitely be a DVD buy.

4.5 out of 5 stars

The Crazies

Despite the fact that Halloween is over, scary movies are still all over the place- I have no problem with this. The Crazies, a remake of the 1973 film of the same title, is a different take on the horror/zombie genre and shows what happens when the virus/outbreak/whatever hits a small town and its residents.

The setting is Ogden Marsh township, located somewhere near Bumfuck, USA. Let me put it this way: the police wear jeans in this town...

The movie starts and OH SHIT, EVERYTHING'S ON FIRE!!! Flash back two days earlier. It's the opening day of high school baseball, and the whole town is out to take in America's past-time. This is where shit start's to get crazy (pun)- bold move on the films part by starting everything off so soon.

Everything is fine, until a guy shows up in center field with a shotgun. Sheriff David Dutton (Timothy Olyphant) approaches him, but ends up having to gun him down cause the dude almost got trigger happy on him. The next act of violence comes when a guy lights his house on fire while his wife and son are locked in a closet- the arsonist gets locked up by the sheriff and his first mate, Russel Clank (Joe Anderson).

These two random acts of violence come from guys who were, up to this point, a pair of regular Joe's. The only sign was that right before the killings they seemed... out of it? Staring off into space, acting tired and bored- kind of like someone who watches Carlos Mencia do comedy; Not interested at all.

Next, we see some redneck types trekking through a swamp where they find a body, submerged in water but attached to a parachute. The dead guy was a fighter pilot from the looks of it, and we soon learn there was a plane crash somewhere near the town- how no one heard/saw a fucking plane crash (especially a fighter jet) is beyond me.

Sheriff Dutton thinks that maybe the plane crash has something to do with the two men acting crazy, and he thinks that since the plane crashed in the water, there might be something in the water supply doing it. Here's where I call bullshit. No fucking redneck cop is going to figure that out before the 15 minute mark of a movie. John McClane couldn't even figure that out, and he killed Hans Gruber (Die Hard reference ftw).

So the arsonist is locked up, Dutton thinks things have gone awry since the plane crash, and all of a sudden... the town is quiet. Too quite... OH SHIT, ZOMBIES!!! Well, that's sort of how it happens. No one is really a zombie, they certainly look like they are the living dead, but they still have all the basic functions- let me put it this way, they can still shoot guns and speak to you: this is not going to be a good apocalypse.

So it turns out it was something in the water and eventually the government steps in, scoops everyone up, quarantines them in the high school-turned-concentration camp, starts killing people who have the signs of being infected... and then still kills the uninfected. Dutton and a handful escape and the movie takes its normal twists and turns- run, escape from the bad guys, try and get out of town and all that good stuff.

Cut scenes throughout the move show that someone is watching the town via satellites- these are the same individuals who presumably cut out any internet/phone service the town had, "quarantine" everyone and cruise around in black SUVs. Typical Big Brother/Secret Government stuff, which we see unravel as the movie goes on.

The story on this movie was pretty good good and certainly a unique one- the government lets a virus/biological weapon loose on a small town via an accidental plane crash (although I'm skeptical at how accidental it really is) and goes in to clean it up by killing literally everything in the region (the films ends with an atomic bomb explosion... just like Driving Miss Daisy).

I'd say the scariest part is when Dutton's wife gets separated from the Sheriff at the camp (because they think she's infected due to elevated temperature, but she's just pregnant) and carted down the halls of the high school, which has been turned into a makeshift hospital. Everyone in the rooms around her are zombies and getting shot, and she's just screaming and screaming. Everyone is dressed in giant bio-hazard suits- it's truly a creepy scene. It reminded me of the end in Jacob's Ladder, when Tim Robbins is getting carted through the "hospital".

There's a lot of scenes where you can tell the good guys will get saved at the last minute, typical Hollywood fashion, but it was still an enjoyable and moderately scary flick. Olyphant (Hitman) and Anderson (Across the Universe) had a decent performance, but this isn't going to stand out from their previous work.


3 out of 5

Red Dragon vs Manhunter

Today, Steve and I will be reviewing two movies based on the same Thomas Harris book, Red Dragon. Steve will talk about the original movie, Manhunter (1986), and I will review the latest installment, Red Dragon (2002).

Red Dragon

Red Dragon, directed by Brett Ratner (Rush Hour, X-Men: The Last Stand), was a pretty good movie. I don't think I enjoyed it quite as much as I did The Silence of the Lambs (we'll get into this later), but I still found it to be exciting and interesting as far as movies go.

The story follows FBI Special Agent Will Graham (Ed Norton), recently brought out of retirement by FBI Director Jack Crawford (Harvey Keitel), and his pursuit of a serial killer known only as the Tooth Fairy (he likes to bite his victims). Graham is very good a solving cases dealing with serial killers, which we found out at the beginning of the film when he caught (almost unsuccessfully) the cannibal psychiatrist Dr. Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins); the mad doctor nearly killed Graham, which sent him into early retirement.

So now Graham is back looking for a killer who murders entire families, rapes the wife, and then puts pieces of mirror in everybody's eye sockets- he does this by breaking all the mirrors in the house, which led me to believe that he's in for some seriously bad luck in the future.

Graham goes around to the houses, checks out evidence, discovers a few new clues and then goes to visit his old pal Dr. Lecter. Lecter gives him a few clues about the murderer, but not too much is resolved from the visit- that is except that a definite fear is established by Graham of Lecter. Lecter is a creepy dude and Graham is not happy that he has to go talk to him... but he's got a family and doesn't want anymore people to get their eyes ripped out and replaced with pieces of mirror.

While all of this is going on, we follow a strange IT guy named Francis Dolarhyde (Ralph Fiennes) who has some serious fucking issues. He is clearly the Tooth Fairy, which we find out by watching him bench press like 250 pounds in the attic of his abandoned house. He has false teeth in a jar, which look like the molds the cops got from the dead wives that Dolarhyde killed. He's obsessed with the William Blake painting The Great Red Dragon and he even has some crazy-ass dragon tattoo's on his back. He attributes these tattoos to the "transformation" he is making from man to dragon (?) and with each person he kills, he gets closer to totality.

The movie goes on, we see that the Red Dragon is sort of human (he lets the blind chick he's dating live, although he kills quite a few other people... but still), Lecter helps Graham out and the figure out that Dolarhyde is the killer- he picked his victims because he worked at a company that made personal home movies for each family that he slaughtered. Dolarhyde eventually gets what's coming to him by way of some bullets and a steak knife, and everyone lives (happily ever after?).

Some of the positive parts of this movie (besides Keitel's awesome hair) were: Norton's acting. I thought he did a great job, certainly reminiscent of his Fight Club days. The story was very interesting and believable, and the cast did a good job bringing it all to life. I also thought the film was shot extremely well- the most memorable shot would be near the end when the camera is looking under the door and Dolarhyde is hiding in the hallway. You see Graham's wife climb the stairs and start down towards the door (all you can see is feet at this point), and then you see the heavy boots of the killer right behind her- very exciting.

I must admit, overall I didn't enjoy Red Dragon as much as The Silence of the Lambs because Dragon seemed very forced. It seemed like Graham, despite being a seasoned vet, picked up on things far too quickly. It seemed like he solved the case before the movie was at the halfway mark, where in Lambs, Starling doesn't realize who Buffalo Bill is until the last 15 minutes or so.

I also thought that Hannibal Lecter was a much more interesting, in control and overall dynamic character in Lambs, while he was pretty "tuned down" in Dragon. Even when he was locked up, he was in control when he was dealing with Agent Starling, but when Graham is in the picture he never really has anything to say- no mind games, he's just used as a means to an end.

I enjoyed this movie, but not as much as Lambs.

Manhunter

I’m gonna cut to the bacon here, I went into this movie knowing I would like it. I wanted to. The original prequel to The Silence of the Lambs, one of my favorite movies, had to be good. If I hated it then I instantly would have resentment toward Silence, and I didn’t want that. So that’s the big skinny up until watching Manhunter. And for the most part, I didn’t have to try very hard.

The story follows Will Graham, a retired FBI agent who is sparsely mentioned in Silence (though we get more detail in the novel) who gets called out of retirement to help his old boss and friend Jack Crawford catch a serial killer named the Tooth Fairy. Director and screenwriter Michael Mann (Public Enemies, Collateral) hasn’t changed much when it comes to pacing. This early film of his moves methodically much like Public Enemies, which can lose some viewers. It also omits Graham’s back story, which is his friendship and eventual capturing of Hannibal Lector, who in this film is played by Brian Cox. The remake (Red Dragon) that comes some years later, includes these flashbacks and ultimately strengthens the story, though it lands in the category of sequel films Hollywood pushes out based on the success of an original.

I can’t help but go into a comparative mood between these two films now. Lector is obviously stronger when played by Anthony Hopkins, though Bryan Cox is no slouch either. Graham is really the highlight of Manhunter, masterfully played by William Petersen, but again Edward Norton brings his own charm to the character in Dragon.

So what it comes down to how it is presented to us. Manhunter is told in the traditional linear fashion, but it doesn’t get caught up with trying to cram Hopkins down our throat like Red Dragon.

I’d have to lean toward Manhunter being stronger film because it doesn’t have that contrived Hollywood feel to it, which is probably why it flopped at the box office. Petersen’s haunted take on Graham is a memorable one and worth watching in itself, but in the grand scheme, neither can stand up to the strength of The Silence of the Lambs.

I know this review kinda lost its focus, but Mike and I wanted to compare two movies here, same narrative but almost two decades apart. And somewhere in the middle of those two decades is the perfect balance of Hollywood flare and quality storytelling.