A Sidebar: Green Lantern

by Steve Kochems

Something’s bothered me the past few days and I wasn’t entirely sure what until now. It’s not the new west coast time, or the lack of clouds in Fresno, CA (they have none apparently). No, it was a scene in the Green Lantern, which I reviewed a few days ago. And now, at 4:40 in the morning, I’m gonna talk this out with myself.

(WARNING: This rant CONTAINS SPOILERS and is NOT my official review of the film)

Most of us could probably agree that superhero movies, and hell, most action, sci-fi, or fantasy movies in general, are about someone going through extraordinary changes or events and emerging as the better man, sometimes physically and/or mentally, but almost always ethically. However this scene, and in turn the movie as a whole, I’m gonna discuss goes against that rule. Why? Because it makes the Green Lantern Corps philosophy and Hal Jordan himself an elitist asshole.

Stay with me.

So the scene is that Hector Hammond, previously a social reject and disappointment to Andy Dufresne, has become infected with some alien contamination and has telepathic powers from a fear entity. However, it has caused him to look even more deformed as his head is gigantic and he sweats all the time, in addition to the already creepy Malkovich look he had going on.

Hector wants to make it as a scientist and gets his big break with this whole alien business and his dad hooking him up. Meanwhile, Hal Jordan gets chosen by a magical ring to be given special powers because the ring “saw something in him.” It’s attracted to fearlessness, you know... like a high school girl.

Now, I’m not against these lead-in’s above, however these two things collide in the scene that’s been keeping me from sleeping and create some moral questions as to what the film is suggesting. After Hector’s killed his dad for being a dick, he kidnaps Hal’s love interest Carol, a woman who Hal could have admittedly had but chose not to because he would’ve “screwed it up,” somewhere in a corner Hector cried because he was an ugly dude who never got the chance. Hal shows up to save the day and tells Big Head he’ll give him the Green Lantern ring if he lets her go, so that he can “be anyone, do anything.”

The whole crux of Hector kidnapping her is because he’s loved her since childhood but she’s never given him the time of day or chance because he looks like this guy to my left here.

Instead she’s been flying around with Hal, dropping him the occasional free-bang while he continues not to commit or give a shit. He wants to be like Hal, look like Hal, you know, so he can have a chance.

So Hector accepts the ring and puts it on. He then says he lied and wouldn’t let her go regardless. To me, this makes no sense for Hector’s character and is just thrown in there because he’s the bad guy and he’s gotta say that. Why would he want her to look mutated now if he can make himself look attractive enough for her? (Sidebar on the Sidebar: he’s a telepath at this point, how the hell did he not see this very obvious trick coming?)

However, our hero has lied as well, saying that the ring has to choose you and not just anyone can use it. “Haha! Jokes on you asshole!” Somewhere I hoped to find a picture of the Green Lantern punching a poor immigrant family with a similar caption.

The ring swoops back to Hal and he blasts poor Hector in the face and catches Carol from falling and keeps her from being injected with urine or whatever that was. I guess it’s a good thing he’s handsome, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to do all that. And then poor Hector is incinerated and Hal flies off into space to punch a giant cloud into the sun (Another Sidebar on the Sidebar: if the Green Lantern can create anything they can think of, why not just create a sun?).

So let’s recap what this scene really honors and encourages: looks over brains. Changing to be liked over being who you are. Lying if you hope the villain is lying. Being chosen (fate) over choosing your own fate. And let’s recap the qualities of our hero vs. demi-villain: fearless, liar, childish, unable to commit, and being “chosen” for better things (the foundation for Social Darwinism, by the way) vs. smart, responsible, ugly, also a liar (though without reason) and apparently pre-doomed.

They both had daddy issues, but while Hal’s dad died a hero and should’ve left him with great memories, Hal has awful flashbacks about him for the first 1/3 of the film then everybody just forgets about it (final Sidebar on the Sidebar: why doesn’t Sinestro or Hector, or Paralax for that matter, use this memory against him? The whole first third of the film is suggesting that that will be the big thing for him to have to overcome in the finale but they just drop it. Why!?). But poor Hector’s dad is the Senator who loves Hal and Carol, he seems to like everyone else as his kid except Hector- probably didn’t love him because he was a balding weirdo. Was anyone sad when Senator Dufrane died? Didn’t think so.

I guess this all makes sense though- they had to make Peter Parker look attractive before he could become a hero, take off his nerd glasses and puff out his chest real big. Yeah, that way no one will confuse him with a villain, all heroes are pretty people with great smiles.

Hector never did anything bad before he found out all the things people were saying behind his back. You know, Wolverine kills a ton of people just for breaking into a house but nobody gives him shit for it. His general description as a person sounds like a much more traditional protagonist for a movie than fly-boy GQ cover Hal, who probably had his socks dry cleaned afterwards to be sure none of Hector’s poor-man ashes got on them.

I know the whole theme was supposed to be about humans being courageous and standing up in the face of fear rather than pretending they are above it (which I like a lot), but Hal Jordan in this comparison to Hector, and especially in this scene, doesn’t sound like a hero. Bruce Wayne isn’t a hero because he’s rich or powerful but because he wants to inspire people, to do things for the greater good, to sacrifice himself. And he chooses to do these things. That’s the whole basis of the end of Batman Begins.

Hal is chosen and rejects the responsibility because that’s a long way to fly for union meetings. Then he accepts the power to save a few people, crashes a galactic conference to discuss a personal problem, then let’s poor Hector get murdered and finally punches the Paralax in space after overcoming his fear of dust. Great arc Hal, you’re a modern day hero. Then he flies back, kisses the girl and flies away, once again unable to commit and has better shit to do. It’s a good thing he looks that good so he can get some alien ass on the side.

The Green Lantern, an elitist asshole.