The Running Man

Reviewed by Mike

Thanks to the internet, Xbox 360 and Netflix combination I have, I was able to watch a late night treat a few nights back that I haven't seen in a very long time. Browsing through the "New Arrivals" section of Netflix, I spotted The Running Man, a late 1980s action-thriller starring none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger.
 
The Running Man, based loosely (and I really have to put emphasis on the word loosely here) on the Stephen King novel of the same name, is the title of a game show in a future where the police/government run everything. Convicts, bad guys and all around assholes are allowed to try their luck at the game show in exchange for their freedom from prison or a cash reward (not really, all winners are totally murdered in horrific ways... but the audience doesn't know that yet!).

The game pits the bad guys- in our case, Arnold- against the good guys, known as the Slayers. The show, hosted by a flamboyant jerkoff named Damon Killian (Richard Dawson), sends the contestants through an obstacle course of sorts- they have to make their way across something like 400 city blocks, going through four different checkpoints along the way. If they can't do it in three hours, they're dead. Oh, and all the Slayers are after them and they all have ridiculous abilities to try and stop (kill) the contestants.

The concept for the show is pretty interesting. People all over America literally stop what they are doing when this show comes on, they're that addicted to watching it. Gambling runs rampant, and it's no wonder why: there have only been three winners. EVER. It's like a better version of American Idol, except in this case the losers get murdered by sumo wrestlers with hockey sticks (not kidding). If only it was like this today...

The film starts off in a high-tech (1987) helicopter, piloted by the Muscles from Brussels himself. He's some sort of government agent, sent to break up a peaceful riot (yeah, I don't know how riots can be peaceful either, but that's what they said), except there's one hitch: Arnold's boss order him to kill all the rioters! Noooooo!!

Arnold doesn't do it, his buddies do and blame him (fuckin jerks), he gets sent to prison for the crime, he escapes by way of exploded heads and assault rifle torso blasts, ends up kidnapping a hot Latin chick who turns him in (bitch), and ends up on The Running Man.

Arnie, who plays a character named Ben Richards by the way, doesn't really want to be on the show but ends up not having much of a choice due to extenuating circumstances: his prison buddies he escaped with got caught and if he doesn't do the show, they get to take his spot.

I won't ruin the rest of the flick, but I will say that Arnie ends up doing his thing in usual fashion The movie is pretty action filled, with explosions and what not, but the most interesting two things were the acting of Richard Dawson and the Slayers. Richard Dawson, of Family Feud fame, is a real grade A dick in this movie. The entire time I watched it, I found myself wondering "when will his uppins come!?" Well, fear not guys, his uppins do come and in great form- you just have to wait 90 minutes first.

The other great part of this flick was the Slayers. In the King version of this story, they were called Hunters and they, well, hunted Ben Richards down like a dog. They used guns and army tanks and shit like that... it wasn't quite the same in the film. Some writer must have thought "hmmm, guns and army tanks are old school. You know what they'll have in the future!? Flamethrowers and motorcycles with chainsaws on them!"

The Slayers "abilities" were nothing but amusing- Subzero (Professor Toru Tanaka) is a sumo wrestler sized henchman who lures contestants into his hockey rink lair (yeah, this guy wears goalie equipment and his weapon is a metal goalie stick with spikes and shit all over it... what happens if the contestants don't go to his lair? Does he run after them with all that shit on?) and then slices them up like sushi. Buzzsaw's weapon of choice is... a chainsaw. Dynamo shoots electric bolts from his hands by way of this weird pack that he wears. Fireball (Jim Brown!) uses a flamethrower while Captain Freedom (Jesse Ventura) doesn't do much but act like a big old vagina.

It was actually kind of insulting, thinking that a mere flamethrower or chainsaw could ever bring down Schwarzenegger- he killed the Predator for fuck sake.

I have to admit that I really enjoyed this flick, despite the fact that it is almost nothing like the book and absurd on, like, every single level imaginable. The King version of The Running Man wouldn't have really worked as a film due to the shortness of the book and utter lack of action. Don't get me wrong, there was still a lot of action in King's version and the book was much more interesting/enjoyable in my opinion (better character development and ending), but it simply wouldn't have been a very good movie. Let me put it this way: It's doubtful Arnold would have put his stamp on it if it wasn't rewritten.

This film, strange enough, won the Best Supporting Actor award from the Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror Films- the award went to Dawson and that doesn't surprise me because he did such a great job a being such a dick. Dawson's acting (he was a game show host for fuck sake) was superb and definitely added to the flicks quality. The action was exciting and it was a very fun movie to watch.

Arnold was at his best in The Running Man, one of his more overlooked films in comparison to The Terminator, Total Recall or Jingle All the Way (yeah, I went there). The cast was interesting (Frank Zappa's son Dweezil had a small part... random, right?), the story was interesting and the end was satisfying.

While it was no It, I thought this was a pretty good film based on a King novel and I would recommend it to anyone interested in a quick thrill... or laugh.


2.5 out of 5 running men